Every January 1st, as we welcome the next year with a steaming headache and eyeballs that hurt even when we think about them, we are each faced with the impossible task of trying to predict for our own bemusement what crestfallen love affairs shall crumble before our very eyes in the months to come.
Trying to peer into our own ridiculous crystal ball of a brain is usually as pointless as planning that exhilarating 5 mile jog for New year’s Day; nothing can come of it; nothing ever does.
And yet, that’s part of the fun, isn’t it?
Part of the joy of being alive is whittling away at the days to come and having a go at fortune-telling and predicting who will fall in love this year, who will be busted for being a slight pervert, who will rise in the name of love, and yes, who will stumble beneath it’s heft.
Then, next year, we can look back and see how freaking wrong we were. And our jaws can drop one last time as we consider just how unexpected and surprising some of the past year’s turn of events proved to be.
Who could have thought that 2012 would spell what it spelled for so many couples?
Who could have known that TomKat would end so suddenly?
Or that the American President and a big guy from Jersey could have such a powerful bromance?
Life is crazy, ain’t it?
So, join me as I look back at some of the past year’s biggest stories involving couples…or former couples, as the case may be.
General Chaos 1 of 15On November 7, 2012 retired four star general David Petraeus announced his resignation as CIA chief to President Obama in the wake of a scandal which revealed he had been cheating on his wife of many years with his biographer, Paula Broadwell. The media, naturally, went berzerk.
Brangelina To Wed 2 of 15After 7 years together, and like 33 kids, the most famous couple in Hollywood, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie acknowledged that they were planning to get hitched sometime in the near future. Here's to a quiet little country wedding! Yeah, right.
A Royal Baby 3 of 15Over in the U.K., Prince William and his wife, Kate Middleton, announced to much fanfare that she was carrying their first child. Be it a girl or a boy, the kid certainly has one hell of a bright future, huh? Definitely the kid of the year for 2013. Cheers!
Facebook Couples Pages 4 of 15Just in case you haven't been able to let the world know just how terrific your romantic life really is (you're a liar!), Facebook came out and announced that you could now thrill the masses by teaming up with your significant other to form...wait for it...Ta-Dah! Couples Pages! That's right, gather up all those wonderfully engaging pictures of you two on vacation last summer and share them with the rest of us struggling to keep our wheezy love affairs alive.
Legal Gay Marriages! 5 of 15In Washington, Maine, and Maryland a majority of voters all agreed that the time had come for same-sex unions to be recognized as marriage material. Congrats!
Rhianna & Chris Brown 6 of 15In what many called 2012's most unbelievable couples story, pop star Rhianna once again started seeing fellow artist Chris Brown, the very same guy who allegedly beat her to a pulp not so long ago. And that sets each of them up for one of the worst possible endings in recent pop culture history. But, let's all hope not though, for her sake.
President Obama Says Yes To Gay Marriage 7 of 15For the very first time in the history of our great nation, an American President went on record and said that he approved of allowing gay marriages to become legalized within the country. Gay and lesbian couples everywhere felt the Earth shift just a little beneath their feet.
Twilighter Shenanigans 8 of 15Back in the summer, the off-screen romance of on-screen Twilight couple Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart was rocked when pictures emerged of her having some make-out sessions with director Rupert Sanders, a married father himself. Still, it appears as if Pattinson and Stewart are back at it again and so everything is right in the world, I guess. Either way, it was a monster of story for a minute there.
The Divorce of Divorces 9 of 15Tom Cruise was left licking his wounds when Katie Holmes, his actress wife of 5 years and the mother of his daughter, Suri, suddenly announced in early summer that she was divorcing him and would be seeking full custody of their little girl asap. Televisions and computers exploded in flames as rumors and innuendos jammed circuits all over the world in what was one of the biggest celebrity couple stories in many many moons.
Viral Video Proposals 10 of 152012 will certainly go down as the year when people proposed a little bit of marriage to each other in creative ways while the world looked on. Viral videos of everything from whole families singing flash mob-style along the roadside to a guy pretending that the glider he and his girlfriend were in was doomed all presented whole new challenges for potential future fiances who are going to have to up the ante if they want to pop the question with style in 2013.
Baby Blue 11 of 15The year kicked off on a beautiful note for mega couple Jay-Z and Beyonce when they announced the arrival of their first child, daughter Blue Ivy. And I must say, it's been very cool watching this power couple from afar and seeing how much they both love that kid and enjoy being parents. Let's hope they bring baby #2 into this world before too long.
John Travolta’s Wife Stays Put 12 of 15It's hard to know who, if anyone, was telling the truth back in the spring and summer of this year when it seemed like people were dropping from the sky just to accuse actor John Travolta of coming on to all kinds of massage boys. Whatever the reality is, John's wife of 20 years (and mother of his children) actress Kelly Preston stuck by his side. The couple are still together at this time, which says something, I'm sure... I'm just not sure what.
Chris Christie/Barack Obama 13 of 15In what may have been the strangest but most powerful coupling of the year (okay...not officially a couple but still!) New Jersey's Republican Governor Christ Christie started a small love fest with US President Barack Obama in the wake of the hurricane wrath that slammed the East Coast in October. It was an unforeseen political pairing but one seemingly built on genuine respect from each man. It's difficult to state with confidence whether it played a key role in the Presidential election a few weeks later, but looking back now, it's also kind of hard to say that this impressive political couple didn't influence at least some undecided voters.
Johnny Bye Bye 14 of 15Johnny Depp and his partner of 14 years, the French actress Vanessa Paradis announced their split in early summer. It was shocking in it's own way too, since Depp and Paradis, the mother of his two children, had seemed to create a life far removed from the Hollywood glare over in France and appeared to have a fairytale romance. Just goes to show: what the hell do we know?
Love For Jen 15 of 15And finally, 2012 will be looked back on fondly by America's sweetheart, actress Jennifer Aniston, as the year she really fell in love. Again. After a long bounce back from her divorce from Brad Pitt in 2005 and a never-ending series of questionable boyfriends, Jen finally fell in love for real, this time with actor Justin Theroux. They are engaged to be married sometime in the future and I raise a glass of car-battery moonshine to them as I wish each of you a damn fine 2013.
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