Shopping with a kid, even under the best of circumstances, can be – and I think you’ll all back me up here – an exhausting, life-force-draining experience. ESPECIALLY if said kid is any of the following things:
- Wet (diaper/pull-up-wise, I mean. I would never imply that you’d just, like, hose your kid off and stick ‘em in the carseat – NOW LET’S GO SHOPPING!1!!!)
- Prone to whining
- Easily distracted by shiny things
Let’s face it, kids are unpredictable, so I’ve found it’s always best to prepare for the worst. This is why I never leave for a shopping trip with the kid without making sure my handbag is fully stocked with at least the most obvious provisions and implements that might be needed: tissues, a bag of goldfish crackers, a bottle of water, wipes, iPod, xanax, a taser, and so on. You know, the basics.
Thankfully, in this instance, I needn’t have worried. Maybe it’s something related to growing up and becoming a big girl (sob! my baby!), but the kid was actually cooperative and docile.
Well, at least at first.
She even modelled her new looks. I played the role of paparazzi (maparazzi?):
So all of that was great. There was no whining (miracle of miracles!), we found a ton of awesomely cute clothes on sale that she actually liked (wonders never cease), and Old Navy footed $150 of the total bill (I spent more though… OF COURSE I DID) (SUCKER!), so it turns out I didn’t have to worry about taking a big hit in the wallet. Cool, right?
What could go wrong?
A soccer ball. That’s what.
This went on for about ten minutes. Out in the open, in front of the entire store, visible to all. No one stopped them, no one called security, nothing. I have no idea why. I can only speculate that the folks at Old Navy have just enough of a rebellious streak in them that they appreciated the shenanigans.
I don’t know if this is going to sound like a promise or a threat, but we’ll be back, Old Navy. So, you know, BRACE YOURSELVES.
Note: I was compensated for this post, but this shiz really happened. Like, for real and stuff.
Read more from Tracey Gaughran-Perez at her personal blog Sweetney.com