Soda BugMegan Jordan
Apparently, one way to get back on track physically and emotionally is to hit the figurative reset button. I inadvertently did just that last week and, while I don’t recommend it, I’ll share with you my results.
Where is our reset button, you ask? I’m guessing somewhere in the region of our tummies. While I’m not sure how to hit it deliberately the first time, I’m quite sure that kneeling in your bathroom for hours on end has something to do with repeating the hit.
Yeah, I got the stomach flu.
Mere hours after publishing my last post full of high hopes of healthier living, all three of my children came down with the stomach flu. Each within an hour of the last. Despite making every effort to head it off, my husband and I caught the bug within days ourselves.
I can’t help but think that had my new water-drinking habit been more established even a week prior, I may have stood a chance of flushing it out of my system. But no such luck.
And the diet soda gods laugh.
Not so fast, ye gods of carbonation. Hear that? That is the sound of ice slowly cracking, melting in my water bottle as I type. Oh ye of little faith, I have kicked my diet soda habit cold turkey. With the help of what I’ll call the “Soda Bug.”
Five full days of worshipping at an entirely wrong altar gave me a renewed lease on my health. My cravings for junk are nearly gone. After a full week of drinking nothing but water (and now tea and coffee, alternated twice a day because you can’t expect me to change everything all at once ohmygah), soda looks like bubbling syrup bombs to me.
Ice cold water has become this life source to me. It’s crazy. Toward the end of the bug, I developed an insane dehydration headache. I mentioned before that I’m already prone to dehydration headaches, so this was five times worse. I couldn’t move without my brain pulsing. Have you ever had a headache like that? Worse, have you had a dehydration headache and known you could have prevented it had you drunk more water?
Water was the only thing I could keep down and it felt like I was pouring it directly on my brain. It. was. awesome, that kind of relief. And it also pinpointed where I’ve been going wrong.
Not only did I drink entirely too much diet soda, but diet soda was like a gateway drug. I would stop at a fast food restaurant in the morning after school drop-off just to pick up a diet drink (tee hee, oh you silly girl)… and then I would decide I was hungry. Five minutes later, I would have a bucket of soda in the car sidled up to a bag of fast food. Fifteen minutes later, I would feel defeated and guilty and generally pitifully down on myself.
I fell for this trick sometimes twice a day. Oh my.
This adds up. In keeping up with my Beyoncé theme from my previous post:
Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my drive-thru bills? Can you pay my medical bills?
Oh, diet soda, I don’t think you do. So, you and me are through.
My rebound has been significant. Not just physically but emotionally. Nothing kills the static like throwing the TV out of the window, right? I have a stronger interest in investing in myself again. If mama’s not healthy, the whole house implodes. So many of you shared the same resounding message in response to my last post on this:
Take care of yourself first.
I hear you. And I may finally be listening, too. As I said, I’m not writing answers for better health and well-being here. I’m writing through my own process. That includes your voice.
Now then, a final word to my ex, for good thematic measure:
You triflin’, good for nothing diet soda. Silly me, why haven’t I found another?
Sugar, I just did.
How is your health rampage going? Please tell me you share the soda battle with me. Seriously.