Spring Break(down): Wednesday EditionSamantha Bee
OK. So, on Monday I wrote a post about Spring Break and how I forgot about it until it was happening and the ways in which I plan to make up for that. Well now it’s day three of Spring Break, and so far:
- Lord of The Flies.
- My kids have forgotten how to read.
- They have forgotten how to tie their shoes.
- They each look like a slightly different version of the feral child from The Road Warrior.
- I think they might try and eat us in the night.
(Haha. That’s ridiculous—they would never try to eat us. We don’t taste enough like cheese crackers.)
In any case we are halfway through the week, and having not had the sense to plan things ahead of time—everyone is going bonkers. In all my children’s art projects, I am featured as “General Buzzkill” (see: artwork pictured above.) The children are not wrong to do so, as my face is in a state of what I would consider to be ‘perma-frown.’
Another thing that is fun about Spring Break is that it gives everyone a chance to relax and succumb to illness. So, runny noses, coughing, phlegm, and rheumy eyes are all around. As for me, I don’t have time to fall ill–no way! I’ll wait until I myself am on vacation for that to happen, thank you very much.
My creative ideas/art project ideas for getting through the week have dwindled to the absolute dregs. “What should we do today Mommy?” my children asked me (with hope in their eyes) this morning. “I don’t know. Why don’t you go eat an orange?” (my actual response.) “Or blow your nose into a tissue” (my excellent follow up.)
On a positive note—it’s almost over!!
On a second positive note–I was forced to do a bunch of important junk that normally no one in my house enjoys doing, but at least we had the time to do it this week: Dentist. Haircuts. Sandal shopping.
Next year I am going to schedule gymnastics classes and pool time in a constant loop, peppered with French lessons. I am going to say to them “don’t bother coming home until you can each do an underwater back flip. Mes petits-choux, est-ce que vous savez faire la roue?”
“Oui Maman, bien sur.”
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