After several date-night-free weeks, I was lucky enough to book a babysitter for tonight. (I’m sorry babies, I love you all to death but I WAS BARFED ON THIS WEEK. REPEATEDLY. MOMMY NEEDS A LITTLE BREAK FROM YOUR HEADS.) My husband asked what I felt like doing during our wee hours of freedom, and I basically went blank and started mouth-breathing at the wall. Doing? Like, things? Outside things? Bwuh?
That’s when I realized that I have not left the house in a very long time. The last time I ventured further than Noah’s bus stop (one block away) or Ezra’s preschool (six blocks) was last Saturday. And even that outing consisted of 1) buying Ezra sneakers, 2) getting the boys haircuts. Then we stopped on the way home for a quick dinner out, which was really nice except for the fact that it took place at 4:30 pm, in order to minimize the number of diners we’d likely bother.
Even the senior citizens didn’t start rolling in until at least 4:45.
And that’s it. The rest of the week was a weird confluence of school district professional days, weather closings, illness, work deadlines and just…well, having no life. No playgrounds, no walks, no coffee runs or drinks with a girlfriend. I didn’t even drive to any afterschool activities — Jason did, since whenever he works from home he’s basically chomping at the bit to go ANYWHERE, ANYPLACE, JUST GIVE HIM AN ERRAND AND HE’LL DO IT, AS LONG AS IT INVOLVES LEAVING THE COUCH.
Ezra only went to school two days all week — both days when the babysitter picks him up so I did not even get two minutes of small talk with his teachers. I canceled Noah’s OT appointment since Ezra was so sick — there went my 40 minutes in a crowded waiting room chatting with other special-needs moms.
I don’t think this is actually unusual for me…and it’s probably not even close to my personal not-leaving-the-house-at-all record, but I feel like it should…bother me? A little? Don’t I feel isolated or stifled? Shouldn’t I be making more of an effort to get up and out more often? Why are the only all-by-myself outings I can remember in recent months just the couple times I went and got my hair cut, and nothing else? (Not to mention my bangs are currently hanging down past my nose, too.) The baby isn’t a newborn and it’s not like I’m threatening the older boys with leashes on a regular basis (ANYMORE) when I’m out in public with them. I have a long list of wonderful friends I could email and finally, FINALLY make concrete plans with after months of procrastination (all on my part). What’s with this slide into antisocial mom-hermititude? Or am I just…you know…too tired to give much of a crap right now?
Sorry to write an entire post comprised of 75% rhetorical questions to myself, but I guess I am curious: How often do you leave the house, on a weekly basis? Especially for reasons that are NOT directly kid-related (even if they’re with you)? Or, if you do work outside of the home, how often do you do other, non-kid/non-work things? Do you have a regular standing coffee date with a girlfriend or pedicure appointment to force you up and out, or does your sanity depend on getting out your front door at least once every day?