Open Letter To Weight Watchers
Dear Weight Watchers,
Can I call you WW like every other annoying person on the planet, myself included? Fantastic. I realize that most of the mail you get is fan mail. People love you. If you listen closely you can practically hear the sounds of Jennifer Hudson writing a song about you right now. Valarie Bertinelli probably included a line about you in her wedding vows! I’m positive that a million chunky housewives from the ’70s through now can’t be wrong.
But I need to be honest with you: I’m hungry. In fact, I’m starving to death. I thought the point (or points – get it?) of this plan was to lose weight and NOT BE HUNGRY. But a few hours after breakfast – two poached eggs on a piece of WW approved (nonsubstantial) whole wheat toast with some I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter spray – I’m so goddamn hungry I could eat my third cousin.
I’ll answer your question right now. Yes! Yes I’m using all my weekly “PointsPlus” allowance points. Yesterday I wolfed down steamed dumplings and a half a chopped salad at CPK and it was the first time I felt full in two and a half weeks. This is no way to live. The old me would’ve polished off my four-year-old anorexic daughter’s buttered pasta before the other kids even had a chance to order dessert. In fact the busboy would’ve had to pry it out of my greasy hands (greasy from eating the crusts from all three kids’ pizzas). So I suppose you would say you’re “helping me make smarter food choices” or that “maybe that’s why you have a muffin top, bitch.” Listen, I don’t need that kind of attitude from a weight loss plan!
Feast your eyes on 8 points worth of mac & cheese
I know I need to lose the muffin top. But I didn’t think I’d have to get so hungry and cranky. This is like high school dieting just with more math and less Dexatrim. Of course I’m going to lose weight. My body is eating itself. You say, “Don’t deprive yourself.” Well I don’t think that “earning an extra activity point by gardening” is really going to help me feel full. What sort of treat do I get for that? One third of a sugar-free, fat-free Jell-O double chocolate pudding. Before WW I could’ve polished off a six-pack of those bad boys and prided myself on my discipline. Now you’ve got me counting points in a tablespoon of non-fat coffee creamer. And I don’t even use coffee creamer! But now that I’m starving to death coffee creamer sounds downright FILLING.
God, I hate you right now. So despite that fact that I have lost three pounds so far, I am not re-upping my online membership. Unless of course you’re running a special because lord knows I have no self discipline. Plus, I don’t want to miss out on anyone in the “community” who might have a Weight Watchers recipe for low-fat, macaroni and cheese with meatless bacon. “It’s amazing! You’d think it has real bacon in it! But it doesn’t! And it’s only 4 points for a three ounce serving! Get out your scales ladies! This one’s a keeper!” So alright. See you after my next weigh-in. Asshole.
My goodness… don’t you like vegetables? You can eat piles of steamed or boiled broccoli and cauliflower with sprinkles of butter buds for very few points and YOU WILL FEEL FULL… A hot cup of fat free Swiss Miss cocoa for 1 point and you will have had desert! lol.. Hang in there!
piles of steamed broccoli? are you serious? i’d rather have the coffee creamer.
Stephanie – love your blog, love you on for crying out loud.
I totally hear you on WW! Seriously – like an inch and a 1/2 of my 16 oz coffee in the morning is creamer – that is 7-8 points right there! Really!?!? If WW offered me a million dollars to lose weight using their plan, then damn right I could do it. But just being a regular ol’ person who has to sit at a desk for 9 hours a day…..it didn’t work for me.
Oh Stefanie, how I love you. I have, as they say in the homeland, wet my knickers laughing. As a WW veteran, I feel your pain. There are only so many no point veggies/fruit you can ingest. I get it. Keep on keeping’ on. And by that I mean, keep offering up your witty poignant views on our crazy lives as we know them.
Hang in there! It gets easier! I did WW after both of my kids were born, losing 20+ pounds each time, and I still go back on periodically when the pounds start creeping on. I was always REALLY hungry (and REALLY pissed off about it) for the first couple of weeks, but then my body would adjust to the new calorie intake and it really did start taking less food to make me feel full. It was a tough realization that I didn’t *really* need as much food as I thought (but oh how I wanted it). If you can stick it out for 2-3 weeks (and I know some folks for whom it takes longer), you won’t be as hungry. :)
Give me carbs or give me death. WW can suck it
It’s a pain in the ass. It truly is. I’ve lost 40 lbs as of yesterday, though, so yay, me. I’ve been a vegetarian for 25 years and I swear I’ve eaten more vegetables in the past 6 months than in the 24 years previous put together. I mean, I’m snacking on roasted brussels sprouts. Is that any way to live?
But be glad you quit drinking, because it’s even more tough to fit in being a lush with 26 points a day when wine is 4 points, 4 points, 4 points. So at least there’s that little silver lining for you.
Hang in there, Stefanie! I had twins 14 months ago, and I’m trying to lose weight AND adjust my appetite as I’m cutting down on breastfeeding, and therefore burning far fewer calories. I have been eating for 3 for almost two years now (if you count pregnancy), and I’m trying to reteach myself how to eat for 1. I’m hungry ALL of the time. Sometimes I give in and eat what I’m craving, and sometimes I eat carrots (or cucumber slices, or salad, etc.) and stay on my plan. I figure as long as I’m working toward more good days than bad, I am making progress.
I’ve also found that the factor that makes the most difference in how my body looks is whether or not I’m lifting weights. I had to end my gym membership once the babies were born because we couldn’t afford it (not that I had the time or motivation to go anyway!) You could try adding weight-lifting to your routine, or increasing the amount/intensity of your lifting if you already do it. This could help you see changes in your body, even if your weight doesn’t change.
Good luck to you! I love reading your blog and hearing you on Crying Out Loud. It always makes me feel better to hear you and Lynette say that it gets a little easier as the kids get older! Thanks for all that you do!
I have been on WW on and off for over 2 decades — sad, isn’t it? I don’t have any major issue with their approach (eat less and exercise). The approach is slow but steady, not for those who want instant results, but the results, once you have them, do stay around a while.
What’s hard is to keep the perpetual mindset that WW is NOT a “diet” (as they love to tell you) but a lifestyle change. When you do follow it regularly, you do see the results. It’s when you lose your motivation to track, to exercise, to eat sensibly that you do go back to where you were and then some — and I have been guilty of that crime on many an occasion. In fact, I had about 5 lb. to go before hitting my goal, only to gain an additional 5 lb. this past month. However, I finally refocused myself and plan to lose all those lbs. with renewed focus and determination.
My challenge is that there are days when dammit, I DON’T want to track every morsel I eat, plan my meals, or just eat until I am truly satisfied. Or maybe I DON’T want to substitute with fat-free this or reduced-calorie that…”fake food” often tastes like crap and I’d rather eat the real deal, even if I’m supposed to take a smaller portion. And I’m not a born athlete, although I’ve started running again — and I don’t want to do it every day (horrors!) So I understand where you’re coming from. Hang in there.
I totally feel your pain! I’ve been on WW on and off for years and always felt hungry and deprived. Everything changed for me when I discovered the Fat 2 Fit podcast – check it out at http://www.fat2fitradio.com/. I suggest first listening to their clip discussing their philosophy. (“Stop eating and acting like a fat person and start emulating the diet and habits of a fit person.)
OMG! This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time! For one thing, I have always loved veggies, as well as fruit, don’t eat junk food, and drink my coffee black. Guess what? I need to lose about 30 lbs! Not sure how that happened, but it has. Every time I try to read up on Weight Watchers, I come away feeling dizzy and want to go and raid the fridge…first of all, the point system makes absolutely NO sense, and second, if they want you to be successful, why do they try so hard to make you NOT enjoy eating? The idea of having to eat substitutes, instead of the real thing…take eggs for instance…makes my throat close in protest!
I’ve never been able to complete the WW plan. Every time I start I end up making a batch of homemade rolls within the first hour. Funnel cakes and corn dogs are my main food group so this would be tough. HOWEVER, you’ve lost three pounds! Go girl! I’ve been counting calories for the past week and have lost some weight so far. I ‘ve snacked on WW treats. I can’t bring myself to snack on WW brusselsprouts.
Total use of WW: I counted three.
I recently started WW. The first couple weeks I was all gung-ho and lost 5 pounds. Then, my motivation died and I gained 4 back. I’m in the process of trying to get my motivation back so I can lose weight. I’m tired of being fat. Yes, it gets tiresome to constantly count points, but when I did it, I lost weight. Also, I’m trying not to eat processed, “unnatural” foods so alot of lower points foods are off limits to me. I try to fill up on veggies and fruits (especially fruits since they are all 0pts). I figure if counting points gets me into the eating habits a thin person has, I’ll do it. I don’t want to be fat anymore.
Ladies, reality sucks, and no matter how hard we try to loose the weight, our bodies fight back equally hard to keep it. WW does suck–they want to keep you fat so you’ll keep paying them. I have a solution for that muffin top. Quit the monthly WW dues and buy some SPANX. It takes a little getting used to, but much better than obsessing over how many points the chemicals you put in your morning coffee are. Good luck–it’s such a struggle and we all just need to embrace ourselves and enjoy life.
I totally get your pain, and appreciate the hysterical way you shared it! I lost 50lbs on WW, and now have put about all that back on. Know why? I’m a PIG and I STOPPED doing WW!!!!! I have come to the conclusion that it’s almost comparable to being in AA. If I don’t follow the program, I go on binges. It’s sooooo sad, but it’s unfortunately true for me. This time, I decided I’m not on a mission to find out, for instance, how many Pringles I can have for 2 pts. or if I should have 2 fresco tacos and beans or 3 tacos or 12pts, and then be sad that I almost used half my points. I read somewhere that a habit of fit people (which is not me consistently, so I had to learn this) is they find 4 or 5 meals that fit into their days calorie or points allowance, and they eat that same thing all week. Now, if you find one that you’re crazy about and want to continue using it, by all means do, but if something suddenly becomes gross, ditch it. So, for me, scrambles have been the way to go. I don’t love veggies unless they are cut up and prepared for me. But what I’ve been doing is putting tons of them in a skillet, fryin’ them up, adding some protein(I use Jimmy Dean Turkey crumbles, Veggies sausages, Veggie patties, salmon burgers ), 3 egg whites (1pt), some Sriachi sauce or however you spell that, a little cheese (I confess, I weigh it out, or I would really overdo) and salsa. It can make an enormous amount of food, especially if you add a big handful of spinach and cook it down, the whole thing takes like 5 minutes. Serve it with a side of mixed berries, and I promise you’ll be full. Focus on protein (don’t tell your hubby I said that!! LOL Dirty jokes will follow), it really helps. Also, if i recall at my meeting days (not doing that this time, no moola for it), the gurus would say, don’t take advantage of the free fruit option. Well, screw you, I will and I do. Nobody got fat on fruit, unless it was in a delicious banana cream or cherry pie! Good luck, you can make it suck less!