11 Things You’d Definitely Judge About My Parenting
Moms judge. Let’s not try to pretend like we don’t because we do. We all do. But it’s okay, I think it’s natural actually to judge another mother’s parenting as a method to judge our own. Judging is one way we find our own path, how we figure what we believe is the right way to parent. Or maybe we’re just insecure, catty bitches. I don’t know. But really, isn’t it easier to just wear the things we worry about being judged for right out in the open rather than try to pretend to be some kind of supermom? So if it makes you feel better about yourself to hear the things I know you’ll judge me for then this should be like a spa day for your soul!
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Dance Moms
My daughters all love Dance Moms.The Bachelor but then the kids really got into the dancing. Now they know way more about the show than I do. They can tell you which mom is the mom to each girl, who left for the Candy Apples and who is on the top of the pyramid each week. I'm not proud, just being honest.
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Sugar bugs!
My twins regularly skip brushing their teeth OR do a really lame job of it. At our most recent trip to the dentist, it turned out that Elby who brushes her teeth quite regularly was the only one with a cavity but still...it's pure laziness that I don't insist on it every night and morning. Would anyone be willing to come to my house twice a day to supervise flossing and brushing? For free?
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Happy Meals make them happy
Yes, once ever couple of weeks (or more frequently) we get some Happy Meals and eat them right smack in front of the TV. Yeah! I said that shit! And I live in Los Angeles where it's like, against the law or something. Once Sadie carried a bag of McDonald's french fries around with her at Whole Foods. That was awesome.
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I often buy toys for no reason
There we'll be, browsing through Target. Mission? Buy a gift for someone else's birthday party. But before we leave, someone spots a thing they reeeeally reeeeeeeeaaallllly want and I end up buying each kid some little thing. I can't help it. I'm a sucker. Judge away.
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Sometimes whining wins
I hate that this is true. I'd love to sit here and tell you that I never ever give in to whining. I want to look you in the eye and say "when my kids whine, I tell them 'I do not respond to whining, if you want something you need to use a big girl voice'" I'd love to tell you that but it would be a lie. Because sometimes, like when I am exhausted, it's just easier to give in. Not always, but sometimes.
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Sometimes I play rap or other entertainment in the car with swearing
I try not to. Mostly they don't hear it. But sometimes I already have on a rap CD or the uncensored comedy radio and before I have a chance to change the channel, they heard a bunch of expletives that I have to explain. And sometimes I just don't change the channel. You know, if it's Chris Rock. Cause that shit is funny.
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I didn't breast feed.
I tried for three weeks with Elby and I pumped with the twins for a month (making all of a Nyquil cup of colostrum) but other than that it was all formula. People love to pass judgement on this so go for it! I'm over it.
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I have given my twins Benatryl just because
It all started because Matilda was having night terrors and the pediatrician said to give her Benadryl before bed for a week to get her to transition into the next sleep cycle without waking. I know! A prescription for Benadryl! Well, if you think we didn't occasionally give it after that in extreme "non sleep" situations, you'd be wrong.
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Stomach sleeping
Go ahead, JUDGE. My kids all slept better on their stomachs. With Elby, we discovered it when she was 9 weeks old and took a nap on her tummy that turned into an all night snooze. We immediately bought a breathing monitor because I am a classic neurotic and used it until she was out of SIDS danger. The twins were used to sleeping on their stomachs in the NICU and with a monitor eventually slept on their stomachs at home too.
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My kids work my iPhone better than I do.
Self explanatory right? But why are they playing on my iPhone so much you might ask. Exactly. Go ahead and judge.
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I have been known to bribe Sadie to eat
And even that's not usually effective but I have stooped to very low levels to get the kid to eat. I realize that offering toys isn't the healthiest way to inspire a kid to develop good eating habits but desperate times have called for desperate measures. When you've had to offer toys to get your kid to finish her ice cream, you will know what I mean. Until then, judge away Judgy Judgerson.
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MORE ON BABBLE:
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12 things you shouldn’t feed your kids… but probably do
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Guilty of most of the above. Except Dance Moms. We watched Toddlers and Tiaras instead, and I pretend to myself that I am teaching them a lesson on behavior and dressing. (is that how kids are supposed to talk to their parents? When we go out in public bellies and hiney are covered and NO makeup, right kids! ) Also, not the Benatryl, but I have given it for allergies, and it does not have a sleepy effect on my kid. She turns into a monkey on crack.
Sorry, we can only relate on the toy buying pasrt! My 5 yo has never had a McDonalds meal and is still nursing,….still an good read!
Sorry, we can only relate on the toy buying part! My 5 yo has never had a McDonalds meal and is still nursing,….still an good read!
One day recently my mom was watching my 21 month old son, when they heard a car drive down the road playing rap music very loud. He ran to the window and said “Mom” :)
Lil guy has had McDonalds, but not often, our go-to food because I know he’ll eat it is pizza. (I do try to make it at home with whole wheat and natural ingredients when possible but Domino’s is sooooo easy!)
Lil guy slept on his stomach on top of me. I know! Stomach and co-sleeping! I’m a terrible mom! Call the cops now! But that was the only way I could sleep and know that he wasn’t going to roll into the side of the bassintte and suffocate. Plus I was woke up every night by litttle kisses on my chest letting me know that it was time to nurse :)
With the exception of the Dance Moms thing I have lived/still am living everything you listed. I used to give my son a chocolate chip or mini marshmallow for every bite of meat. And I prefer gravol to benadryl:)
Let’s be friends! Sub in Spiderman for Dance Moms (I have 4-year-old-twin boys) and I’m right there with you point by point. ps—I let my boys pee outside. There, I said it. Feels good to get it out!!
Finally, something worth reading on here today! Funny and true and in the spirit of non-judginess! Kudos!
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