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Stefanie Wilder Taylor

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Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is the host of Parental Discretion on NickMom as well as the author of four books including Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay and Naptime Is the New Happy Hour. She also hosts the podcast For Crying Out Loud.

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I’ll Tell You What You Can Do With Your Cookies

By Stefanie Wilder Taylor |

Some may say that I lack team spirit (I’ve never been employee of the month for exactly that reason) but I don’t want to sell Girl Scout cookies. And let’s face it, my daughter may be the Girl Scout but I will be the one selling the damn cookies.  My seven-year-old is not going to be the one hauling a card table out to Albertsons, loading up the boxes of Thin Mints and calling like a carnival barker to shoppers to “Support my Girl Scout troop! Buy some cookies.”

The cookie business is “one of the biggest money makers for our girls” The Girl Scout rep who came to talk to us about troop life told us during our orientation. “They can easily earn four thousand dollars!” this lady was uber excited for us to get our cookie sales on so we could earn money for camping trips or maybe a trip to Disneyland.

But here’s the thing: I already have to raise funds for two different schools right now. I’ve got Elby’s charter school which is only in it’s second year and needs money like Trump needs a stylist. Then I have the twins’ school which also has a fundraiser approximately every 20 minutes.  Elby’s school legitimately needs the money. And I want her school to have that money because they need to have desks, chairs and new pencils.

The Girl Scouts don’t need to go camping. Plus there’s the time commitment.

“Girl Scout  cookies truly sell themselves,”  the rep said when some of the moms looked a bit doubtful about signing up to head the cookie committee. Really?  Do the cookies actually drive their little mint filled asses over to cookie headquarters, pick up the rest of their friends,  head to stores, street corners and office buildings? Do their little peanut butter fingers  fill out the paperwork, talk people into buying 5 boxes instead of 3 and then hop in a mini-van and distribute themselves when the huge shipment comes in? I highly doubt it. For one thing, I’ve never seen a box of cookies in a little green beret. But to be fair, I bet it would look cute. Especially the Tagalongs.

I know that selling cookies is a tradition. You don’t have to say “Why would you sign your kid up for Scouts if you don’t want to sell the cookies?”  I signed her up because her friends were doing it and it sounded fun. Plus, I like the patches. And the lessons on being a good person certainly don’t hurt, they’re better than lessons on how to be an asshole (those she could learn anywhere).

I just don’t want to sell the damn cookies. Jesus.I’M NOT GOING TO DO IT. Wait, don’t cry Elby…


Box of Savannah Smiles anyone?



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About Stefanie Wilder Taylor


Stefanie Wilder Taylor

Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is the host of Parental Discretion on NickMom as well as the author of four books including Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay and Naptime Is the New Happy Hour. She also hosts the podcast For Crying Out Loud. Read bio and latest posts → Read Stefanie's latest posts →

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9 thoughts on “I’ll Tell You What You Can Do With Your Cookies

  1. Rebecca says:

    You signed her up because her friends are doing it? What is that teaching her about peer pressure you silly head?! You are teaching your children to be good kids and eventually grown up people because YOU are a good person and I bet Jon is pretty awesome too. They will mimic their mom and dad and not the general public.

  2. Raven says:

    I led Girl Scouts for a few years and as the leader, and mom of a Girl Scout, I HATED cookie time. I feel your pain.

  3. Carolyn West says:

    So here’s the thing… I actually pulled my daughter out of Girls Scouts and refuse to let my other two sign up. For all their talk about being good citizens, the troops in our school are nothing more than a cult. Yes, a cult of little, mean-spirited girls who refuse to talk to anyone who isn’t in their “troop” and won’t even arrange playdates or invite children to birthday parties if they aren’t a part of the cult, I mean… troop. It’s unbelievable. I’ve never seen anything like it. Yes, of course it’s the parents fault. I know that. But I don’t want my daughters being a part of any group that refuses to include everyone. You might say that this is only OUR particular local troop… but it’s not. I’ve been dealing with this for years and they are all the same.

  4. Sheilawalls says:

    I hate fundraisers!

  5. I don’t know if the troops in my area are mean spirited and exclusive because I only know my own kid’s troop and they are all nice girls BUT…the thing is more culty than Scientology! I definitely give you that! And for what? What is the point? It’s a Daisy Troop not a political group. I don’t get it.

  6. Suzan says:

    you crack me up Steph. when i was a GS we used to go DOOR TO DOOR to sell. one year we started selling girl scout calanders a couple months before cookies were even available. talk about learing about rejection! i don’t think i sold one. ‘sorry honey, i don’t need a calander featuring little girls i don’t know wearing sashes full of patches. come back when you are selling cookies” (i swear that what she said…I will never forget it)

  7. nancy says:

    my daughter has been a gs for 3 years & I her leader – we love it!! so sad that
    other troops are acting ‘cultish”! i’m not saying there haven’t been squabbles among the girls but we our hardest to make sure we include everyone & are constantly teaching the girls about being nice to everyone. It may not be my “job” when the school teaches about bullying but are not going to let our girls act that way so we try to follow with a lesson on it. I’m am pretty sure each of our girls
    has other friends that are not in our troop & we have the biggest troop -15 girls -in the school!! and sure cookie time is hard bc i do all the work but whatever- we will
    be going to some fun programs this year. sorry to hear those other people live in such a negative area!!

  8. Dominique says:

    An organization like this is what you make it. Girls will follow the example of their parents and will be more inclined to act like snobs if their parents act this way. Either way, if you don’t want to sell cookies, don’t. If you don’t want to do girl scouts, don’t. If you want the group to be different, get in there, put the work into it, and change it! It’s not always easy but children can learn valuable lessons like perseverance, cheerful attitudes, kindness, etc…… Or they can learn that selling cookies just sucks (and it really can).

    You just have to decide what things are worth your time and energy. You should no more feel pressured to sell than you should feel pressured to be a part of anything. It’s your choice that I’m sure is based on a number of things, including the investment your daughter is willing to make versus what she will take from this particular troop.

    Good Luck either way! :)

  9. Alley says:

    lol! I love your posts and sense of humor, btw… I remember back in the day, I was a Brownie. It was a lot of fun earning the badges, but even I dreaded the cookie time of year. I’m not social, never have been, so that’s probably why. I used to dread school fundraisers too. And come to think of it, I don’t remember if Brownies even actually sold cookies, but I just remember the stress that was in the group whenever it was that time of year. I’d love to put my daughter in Girl Scouts, but that’s really something that I’m not crazy about doing (cookie-hustling), so I’ve still got that in the “consideration box” in my brain. I want my daughter to be a “part” of something, but at least my church I know would get her involved in some awesome stuff, if nothing else, so I just might stick with that.

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