These babies. They seem so innocent, so pure and yet, the amount of disgusting work involved in parenting is mind blowing. “It’s a dirty job but someone’s gotta do it!” is something I often told myself when I picked up my baby’s pacifier from the floor, sucked off the dirt and popped it back in her mouth. It’s also what I tell myself now when I find myself cleaning a sneaker in the sink that is contaminated with dog poop. What’s up with kids’ eyesight that they can’t avoid dog crap? If it was my shoe I’d probably toss it out -but my shoes come from Payless or Target and the shoe in question wasn’t as cheap. Also, it has Spider-Man on it. The bottom line is, as a mom, there are parts of my job that I certainly don’t relish but they seem to come under my jurisdiction, so I do them.
Of course I had no clue what kinds of things I would do without blinking an eye before I had kids. I never pictured myself watching Dora let alone applying ointments to places on another person’s body that one rarely has the opportunity to see on their own body. But I do it, glad to be of service.
There are however a few things that are just not in my job description which I took the liberty of including in my non-so-comprehensive list of Gross Parenting Jobs!
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If I’ve left any out, for God’s sake leave them in the comments. You people have been lax on commenting. Just being honest.
Diaper image courtesy of Flickr (Frostwire.com)
Lunch Box image courtesy of Flickr (Mazarine)