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Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is the host of Parental Discretion on NickMom as well as the author of four books including Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay and Naptime Is the New Happy Hour. She also hosts the podcast For Crying Out Loud.

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Worst Toys To Buy Your (Or My) Kids This Year

By Stefanie Wilder Taylor |

Kids are all about gifts. And if you think your kids aren’t, you are either residing on a Kibbutz in Israel, living off the land and joining in  community building exercises every day in lieu of playing with toys  or you are delusional and your kids are as into presents as much as mine. But has your kid ever been given a gift that made you cringe? Or a gift that you didn’t even know was going to be terrible until it stained your couch? Yeah, I’ve gotten a few of those too. The last one was my oldest’s birthday where she was given a “voice changing” megaphone. Oh the joy this toy has brought us! I wanted to send a rotten tomato in place of a thank you card. But when I thought about it, I realized this is far from the worst toy we’ve come in contact with. In order to save you some time, money and friendships, I’ve made a little guide for What Not To Get This Year. You’re welcome.

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Worst Toys To Buy This Year

Floam

This is truly the gift that keeps on giving. You will never get it out of the carpet, upholstery, kid's hair, your hair, clothes and for some reason -your bed.

If you want a short list of the books I feel should not be on your wish list, I wrote that here.

 

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About Stefanie Wilder Taylor

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Stefanie Wilder Taylor

Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is the host of Parental Discretion on NickMom as well as the author of four books including Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay and Naptime Is the New Happy Hour. She also hosts the podcast For Crying Out Loud. Read bio and latest posts → Read Stefanie's latest posts →

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18 thoughts on “Worst Toys To Buy Your (Or My) Kids This Year

  1. ladyhusband says:

    that shot of elby is amazing.

  2. Heather Risinger says:

    Here’s how you get back at them….buy an obnoxious fire truck that makes the loudest fire truck noise ever. Then buy super extra strength long lasting batteries and a bottle of super glue. When their kid has a birthday, give them the truck with batteries super glued in. Trust me….you will feel the joy of payback.

  3. Cass says:

    I cannot BELIEVE that Pixos does not make this list.

    We haven’t used Pixos in well over a year, and I vacuum often, yet I still step barefoot on a Pixo every damned day…

  4. Diana says:

    How about a version of the book Alice in Wonderland. Oh and it’s 500 pages long…in the Queen’s English…FOR A SIX YEAR OLD!

  5. Rebecca says:

    What about toys that have fifty bazillion microscopic pieces. Think polly pocket with every single accessory available, only smaller.

  6. Cass, Pixos are horrifying. I just forgot about them.Diana, I don’t appreciate books in English let alone Queen’s English. Okay some books make good gifts but definitely not super long ones. And Rebecca, small pieces make me want to hurt someone. What I end up doing is throwing it out.

  7. Barbara Davilman says:

    I agree with your entire list of WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? toys for kids EXCEPT for the Easy Bake Oven. That’s where I first learned how to cook!! Who doesn’t cook a steak by the heat of a 25 watt bulb???? C’mon, you’ve had dinner at our house. Please retract.

  8. Kayla Pembroke says:

    YES! Pixos suck. Also…MOONSAND!!! That stuff stains like the dickens and is the messiest “toy” I have ever encountered.

  9. Korinthia Klein says:

    I hate Pixos, Moonsand, and things that come with those impossible to work with little cups of paint all strung together.

    But we love our Easy Bake Oven. It makes dealing with treats interesting because I can say “Of course you can have cookies, if you make them yourself!” and it takes all afternoon and they get a cookie the size of a dime. But it makes them happy, and they can mix and bake and frost things without my help.

  10. Kim Essex says:

    I loved my Easy Bake Oven! And the food was decent, not necessarily good, but decent. Maybe the new design/plastic isn’t as good.

  11. Katie says:

    Yes to all of these…but moonsand really should have made this list! It’s second only to floam in my book…which is also apparently really tasty to beagles. The scary part? If your dog eats an entire container of floam while you’re in the next room, it will come out the “other end” virtually unchanged. Then you get to spend the next few days picking up floam poo in the backyard, and screeching at your toddler not to touch it! It’s yucky now! Because it seriously looks the same.

  12. Kim says:

    My son had to have floam surgically removed from his ear three days after Christmas. I don’t know how he managed to get it into his ear, but he did and it hardened and couldn’t be pulled out with tweezers. Fun times.

  13. Elliesee says:

    We don’t have much fun with the Easy bake oven, but any cookie recipe will work in it!

  14. V_T says:

    Floam and Moonsand are SORT of okay – my son enjoys squishing it BUT I have a very strict rule that it STAYS ONLY on his art table set up in the kitchen and when he’s done it needs to be put right back in the container. Yes, I still have to shark up the floor underneath it afterward, but so far we’ve been able to survive with minimal mess!

  15. Rebecca says:

    Moonsand is okay….but AquaSand is that of the devil. AquaSand is a cleverly marketed toy that seems like it’s okay to play with in the house but how many people would let their toddler/preschooler/early elementary school child play with the sand box in the house……..

  16. O says:

    Disagree with friendship bracelets. Simple braiding and as long as its age appropriate (ie not a 5 year old), easy to follow. Back in the day you would have had paper instructions. Don’t be off by the video! They only do that because everyone likes to do that these days. It’s just string!

  17. Annabelle says:

    I just have to say that Katie’s comment about Floam is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. Almost tempted to feed it to my dogs now to see the floam poop. We once got Moonsand from my sister. Who clearly hates me, because why else would you ever buy that for someone? We also once got this racetrack that made noise at the same decibel as a fighter jet. I scotchtaped the crap out of the speaker and managed to get it down to the decibel level of a dynamite explosion. And the Bratz dolls is the whole reason I’m thrilled I didn’t have girls. And I agree with your additional accessories, absolutely hilarious!

  18. Courtney says:

    I haven’t really used any of those toys other than the electronic keyboard my mother bought my 3 year old at the time son. Needless to say I let the batteries die and never chanhed them. He’s now six and I just changed the dead batteries about a month ago. Fortunately they only last about a month so hopefully I’ll get out of it for a while again.
    I would have to say the most annoying toy I have ever seen was (which was never in my toybox, Thank God!) a game that was like the fishing game but with ducks. It was a cross between the fishing game and the carnival duck game. You had to keep choosing ducks until you had all the ducks of your color, and all the while the ducks move around in a circle and “quack”, yes “quack”, over and over again the entire duration of the game. Shoot me Please!

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