Previous Post Next Post

Babble Voices

With

Tracey Gaughran

Connect with Tracey

Launched in 2006 by two stay-at-home moms, Mama Pop is the independent voice for parents on pop culture, entertainment, gossip, fashion and web culture.

Brought to you by

Style After Motherhood, How Does It Work?

By Tracey Gaughran |

Let me just say upfront: I am NOT a fashionista. Not by a very, very long shot.

Truth be told, my wardrobe consists primarily of the following items in black or various shades of gray: dresses with leggings, various types/styles of cardigan sweaters, and comfortable shoes (flip-flops in summer, ballet flats in spring/fall, clompy clogs or boots in winter) (I should note that all of these are black as well) (at least I’m consistent, right?). This “uniform”-type of styling — which essentially removes all real decision-making from the process of daily clothing-selection because everything matches  — came into being over the course of the past several years for me, out of a kind of harried necessity that I imagine many moms can relate to. I basically didn’t want clothing to be yet another thing I’d have to worry about, another decision I’d have to make every day. The boiled-down essence of my style thus became: to be able to just grab any items in my closet and throw them on, secure in the knowledge that come what may, at least I wouldn’t be mismatched. Because honestly, of the 500 things on my every day to-do list, being a fashion plate sits dead last at the bottom.

Does this ring a bell for any of you? Anyone? Hellooooo?

I decided to ask some friends how their style has changed since they had kids, vainly hoping that I wasn’t alone in my lame sloughing off of stylishness. Turns out, I was in good company:

*

Ali: I don’t know if this helps, because it didn’t happen right away…but, for me, well, now that I have a daughter in 6th grade (OH MY HEAVENLY DAYS I AM OLD), it’s really important for me to make sure that she and I don’t dress alike. As in, if it’s in style for 6th graders, I should not we wearing it. As in…I dress my age. Also, I will never again be able to wear anything labeled LOW-RISE because, well, that whole stomach-that-birthed-three-humans thing…

Jamie: was what I was thinking too. Undershirts/tanks have become a daily wear. Nobody wants to see my shirt ride up to reveal the wrinkle-muffin below.

Tanis: Prior to having chilluns, I dressed normal. I swear on all that is holy. I mean, besides being dumber as a post, I had an itty bitty waist, boobs which pointed in the same direction and fashion sense.

And then I had kids.

Bam! and then 11 months later! BAM again! Suddenly, in the space of 13 months I had a newborn and a one year old kid. I was too busy changing diapers and whipping out the boob to care what I looked like. So for like FIVE YEARS after my kids were born, I wore (I’m so ashamed) overalls.

Fashion was LOOOOW on the priority list, I was more worried about making a box of mac and cheese and pb and jelly sandwiches feed my family since we were so poor. Two kids grew to three and I was hopeless lost inside the fashion wastebin of life.

My come to jesus moment happened when I was about 26, and getting ready to go out on a girls night when my friend held up all my jeans, laughed at me and asked me if I had any that didn’t go up to my waist band. She reminded me that just because I was a mother didn’t mean I had to wear mom jeans.

The next day we went shopping and I have never, ever bought mom jeans again. Because I realized being a mom doesn’t mean I need to morph into a fashion slob. And a great pair of Levi’s will not only make you feel feminine and beautiful but they’ll hide the jelly stains of small children.

Marilyn: Having 2 kids via c-section totally destroyed my stomach. It looks like I am wearing a fanny pack under my pants with a permanent pooch billowing out over the surgery scar. It’s all about minimize, suck it in, push it down, and when all else fails wear an extra long shirt.

Marrit: I’m in pajamas still. My child is 10 now. Nobody needs style advice from me.

Katie: ‎50 Shades of Black hide a multitude of sins, even those perpetrated by the innocents.

Jamie: the front of my shirt says “Cowboy Wanted” and the butt of my shorts says “Farm Raised.”

Jen: I feel like I dress much better now than I did before I had kids and certainly in the early couple of years since having them. Just in the past year I’ve really taken control of my style and have worked really hard at completely renovating my entire wardrobe on a tight budget. And, not to humblebrag, I’ve done a pretty good job at turning my look from 100% Mom Who Has Abandoned All Hope to Mom Who Actually Gives A Sh*t. I pay attention to trends and adjust them slightly and wear outfits that include accessories and shoes that coordinate and do my hair…at all, which is a complete 180 to my old style of jeans and t-shirts at home, black pants and turtleneck sweaters to work.

Stacey: I haven’t bought a piece of clothing that says “dry clean only” or even “hand wash cold” since 2005.

Susan:  wear a lot of dresses now because I can’t be trusted to remember to put on two pieces of clothing. Also, pants are completely out because I can’t buy anything that needs to be tried on because the kids will lock themselves in the dressing room AGAIN and I will have to drag the round red loveseat to the door AGAIN and peer menacingly over the door until they come out. Note to stores: please make your dressing room doors so I can crawl under them. Thank you.

Jodi: I got MORE stylish once I became a mom. I think when I was younger I was trying so hard to keep up with what was “in” and be like “everyone else” and now I have learned what really fits me and what looks good on me and I don’t have time to care anymore about everyone else. I buy for me, and what I like, and look better now.

*

SHUT UP JODI AND JEN! heh.

But really, overall it seems clear that this is a common issue for lots of moms and something many of us struggle with. Since becoming parents, our bodies have changed, our priorities have changed, our commitment to dry-clean-only fabrics has changed… so it makes sense that Fashion and Style would get demoted to Comparatively Not All That Important. It makes sense that ease and comfort would become increasingly central to our clothing choices, as opposed to following the latest fad or trend, whether it felt good and fit us or not.  Totally.

But there’s a fine line between streamlining one’s wardrobe and giving up, this I know, so I’m looking out for ways to be less uniform-ish and more stylish, without sacrificing comfort and ease (more on that in the posts to come!). But for now, I ask you: how important is looking fashionable and stylish to you, and has this changed since you became a mom? Are you good with where you are now, fashion/style-wise, or would you like to change things up somehow?

Disclaimer: A big thanks to Levi’s for sponsoring this campaign. Click here to see more of the discussion.

*

Read more from Tracey at her personal blog, Sweetney

Follow Tracey on Facebook

Follow Tracey on Twitter

 

More on Babble

About Tracey Gaughran

mamapop

Tracey Gaughran

Mama Pop is the independent voice for parents on pop culture, entertainment, gossip, fashion and web culture. Read bio and latest posts → Read Tracey's latest posts →

« Go back to Babble Voices

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Comments, together with personal information accompanying them, may be used on Babble.com and other Babble media platforms. Learn More.

11 thoughts on “Style After Motherhood, How Does It Work?

  1. Mary Anne says:

    Hahaha these are so funny and relatable! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who has accidentally given up on fashion. But I’m with ya, Sweetney – there is hope for us yet!

  2. Hannah says:

    omg this is great! as for me, you know those blanket cardigans that were really in a few years ago? well that was when i was pregnant and you better believe i jumped right on that trend…. and haven’t given it up yet! what can i say, they hide the saggy skin formerly known as my six pack.plus i have them in just about every color and pattern imaginable so it doesn’t immediately look like i’m wearing the same thing all the time. woot woot!

  3. linderooni says:

    It’s become more important for me — I dressed WORSE before my kid was born. My argument is: Dressing nice makes me feel confident and happy. When I am happy, I am a better, more patient, and most importantly, a happier mama. It also has helped me to realize that there is a uniform of sorts for different events and I’ve gotten more attuned to what clothing is appropriate in different situations. For example, I’m not trying to go to the gym with a face-full of makeup, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to go to lunch with a friend in my sweaty yoga pants.

  4. Alix says:

    I completely agree with Katie. Black is slimming, chic and you don’t have to worry as much about matching, since it goes with everything.

  5. Iris says:

    Way to go Jodi! Love to hear things like that from fellow moms :)

  6. Linderooni – I agree with you, actually, which is why I’m trying to get out of my All Black Uniform rut. That said, I can’t help but wonder when/where/how I’m going to find the time to keep stylish when I can barely keep myself in clean clothes most of the time :)

    *secret fistbump to Alix* (heh)

  7. Elizabeth says:

    “wear a lot of dresses now because I can’t be trusted to remember to put on two pieces of clothing.” You said it! haha

  8. Calimommy says:

    I’ve always tried to mesh comfort and style. i definitely don’t want to look dated, but i think wearing clothes that fit right is more important than clothes that are hip or modern.

  9. Meghan says:

    I wouldn’t say I’m less/more fashionable now that I’m a mom, but my priorities have certainly shifted. Instead of…dressing to impress…I’m dressing to 1) make it through the day 2) make myself NOT feel like a total schlub 3) remind myself that even though my kids are my priority, I have to focus some of my attention on *me* as well.

    Sometimes I do a better job of it than others.

  10. Elizabeth says:

    In a lot of ways, I’m more fashionable now because I have to spend more time thinking about what looks good on my body. Before, I just threw on whatever vintage stuff seemed cool, and didn’t really account for whether or not it flattered.

  11. @JustHeather says:

    My former fashion plate teen wears a uniform to school now and gets ready in minutes. I do need one of my own!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *.

Previous Post Next Post