The 10 Best Things About Babies (That I Miss Most)


The other day I went to pick up Noah from his mom’s house, and she held his feet up for me to check out his brand new shoes. They were nice. But they were ginormous. And by ginormous, I mean that they were shoes that could only fit on a big kid. An older kid. Not on my kid.

Noah as a wee teeny one.

The problem was, they fit him perfectly.

And that got me all sentimental. And that got me to pulling out baby pictures. And that got me to thinking about the things I miss most from his baby days. And that kind of thinking is dangerous cause it makes me wanna have another one.

I mean, let’s all be honest here. Babies are the best ever.

Anyways, since I’m a list maker, I made a list.

The 10 Best Things About Babies (That I Miss Most)

1) I miss the days when my child stayed in the exact spot I left him. When he couldn’t even roll over yet, and I could wedge him against some pillows, and I didn’t have to worry about him running out the front door or out into the street. I definitely never had to worry about him getting into the knife set, the medicine cabinet, or those bedroom drawers that you hope your mom doesn’t see should you croak unexpectedly.

2) I miss his tiny hands. The way they clasped around my finger because I touched them and not because I said, “hold my hand so you don’t get hit by that cement truck.”

3) I miss his baby laugh. High pitched and tiny, the greatest sound on earth. A sound that makes every worry melt away, including but not limited to work stress, sleep deprivation stress, relationship stress, health stress, in-law stress, and crazy-psycho-killer-on-the-loose stress.

4) I miss his toothless grin. The way he would gnaw away on my finger like he was trying to clean the last tender meat off of a baby back rib, and I would start to giggle, and the weirdo on the bus next to me would say “what’s so funny?” and I’d just give him a look that said, “touch my baby and you die.”

5) I miss his baby chub. The days when his fat folds could absorb my entire fist and it was endearing. I’ve tried to convince women that such absorbability on my own body is equally as charming, but they never seem to agree. The only cheek pinching around here anymore is when I try and squeeze into a theater seat.