Infertility is a nightmare. You not only deal with not being able to achieve your dream, or feeling that you are trapped in a body that does not work like it’s supposed to. You step into a parallel reality in which you are treated like a science experiment and in case that wasn’t enough, you have to deal with all kinds of insensitive comments.
Those remarks at times are borne out of the best of intentions but end up causing more pain to somebody who is already hurting bad. At their worst, those insensitive comments come from ignorance: people really not knowing what causes infertility, what the treatments entail and how those struggling with fertility issues are really feeling.
Since many are so unfamiliar with infertility, they simply don’t know what to say. That’s why it’s even more useful to know which phrases to avoid altogether if you have a friend who is struggling to conceive.
10 things you should not say to a friend with fertility issues
Here’s a list of what not to say to a friend who hasn’t been able to conceive:
In case you are wondering, I did not make this list up. When I was trying to get pregnant, I heard all of the above. It hurt to realize how little some people understood my struggle and I vowed to help others understand. I have so many friends going through similar circumstances that I had to share, so those who love them, know how to really support them.
If you really care about your friend, be there for her during her fight against infertility. Be there for her through the tears, through the hormonal ups and downs, through the uncertainty and the feeling of lack of control over anything. Show her that despite the turmoil, there is one thing she can count on: your friendship.
Photo: Istock Photo
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