Every year for Christmas, my husband’s Grandmom presents everyone in the family with their own plastic storage container full of Christmas gifts. The boxes are always filled to capacity with a peculiar assortment of knick knacks and curios and weird odds and ends, stuff you associate with items you want out of your home, not brought in.
We can’t figure out where she gets half the stuff or whether she’s just punking us with her annual White Elephant style presents, but every year we end up with more totchkes any human could possibly know what to do with. Some of the stuff is downright bizarre. I have put together a slideshow of some of this year’s most interesting haul. Enjoy!
1. A Doggy Bag 1 of 14
What everyone needs this Christmas! A needlepoint doggy bag.
But wait! It gets better...
Lets Look Inside the Doggy Bag 2 of 14
What's that peeking out of the Doggy Bag?
It’s a Plastic Bag INSIDE the Doggy Bag! 3 of 14
Now you can scoop up your dog's crap in style! Someone call SkyMall stat!
2. Creepy Boy and Girl Figurines 4 of 14
I don't mean to be cruel here but check out the mug on sister figurine. Girlfriend got beat hard with the ugly stick. What's up with the mottled meth skin?
3. Decorative Fly Swatter 5 of 14
What exactly are you supposed to do with this thing? Hang it up for show? Get bug guts all over that fancy cardinal swatter sweater? WHY DOES THIS PRODUCT EXIST?
4. A Picturesque Scene 6 of 14
This will provide the finishing touch to the man cave.
5. This Cookbook 7 of 14
For the discerning cook in your life.
6. A Decorativeâï¿½¦Uh…I Don’t Even Know What This Thing Is 8 of 14
A hot and cold faucet plaque! Yes!
Lets See What Happens When it’s Regifted to an Unsuspecting Relative 9 of 14
Look at that forced appreciation. His Christmas dreams obviously just came true.
7. A Cowboy Tie Rack 10 of 14
My husband never wears ties but I'm holding onto this fine piece of craftsmanship because it holds ten ties!!!
8. The Mystery Gift 11 of 14
Jake received this one for Christmas last year but we held onto it because it was the strangest gift any of us had ever seen. We couldn't figure out what the heck it was. It's basically a wand with a mirror attached to the end of it….
What Is It? 12 of 14
Grandmom didn't even know what it was. She thought it was a special mirrored spatula equipped with a handy dandy knuckle guard.
A Mirrored Spatula? Really? 13 of 14
I gave it a whirl as a cooking device -- how cool is it that you can look behind you as you flip your food! -- but it didn't work out so well. Made the kitchen real messy.
Mystery Solved! 14 of 14
We finally looked at the brand name on the handle and discovered it's a rear view mirror for a wheel chair! Just what two able bodied adults need! Merry Christmas!
Thanks, Grandmom! It wouldn't be Christmas without your wacky gifts.