Escaping the “someday” trap
Photo credit: Flickr/Bill and Vicki Tracey
My niece is about to graduate from high school, as are the oldest children of my two neighborhood friends. Each is headed to college, poised on the brink of semi-adulthood. Each is pointed toward his or her particular launch pad. Ready or not, there they go.
I’m freaking out a little. And they’re not even my kids.
Not because OMG IT WENT SO FAST or even OMG I’M OLD. I just can’t take my eyes off the poignant beauty of a child preparing to leave the nest. All that freshness and potential energy ready to burst forth into the world. That combined with the crazy color explosion of Portland’s springtime is leaving me dizzy.
High school used to seem like a distant, almost theoretical land we’d eventually reach. But now that it’s within spitting distance (my son’s finishing 6th grade), I’m starting to feel the momentum build. It’s exciting but also unsettling because there’s a nagging sense that time is getting short. I find myself counting the number of summers left before my kids move out.
Rael and I made a list of all the places we’d like to travel with the kids before they leave. There’s no deadline on travel — hopefully we’ll travel with them throughout our lives — but it really brought into focus the need to extricate ourselves from the trap of someday.
This point was made even more clear to me during a visit last week from my parents. It’s time to grab every healthy moment you have with the ones you love. Inconvenience be damned.
As you head into summer with your family, ask yourself: how will we celebrate this time together? Then take one step further: make a concrete plan to do it.
I realized when they were young that it would be a brief period time in which they were able to travel well on road trips and WANT to travel with us on road trips and could afford major trips. We made a list many years ago and I’m pleased to say we’re doing well. We started with Niagara Falls when youngest was 5, older was 7. The two day drive (each way) went well, without electronics!!! We saved up for a year, then went on a three week trip last summer from Atlanta to Yellowstone and back. It was incredible. This summer is mostly at home, then we’ll have Washington DC and the Grand Canyon area to fit in when my eldest is 16. That could be it. If he has a summer job it could end there. Yes. Time is short. Don’t wait for “Someday.”
Yes! This is timely–I made my summer wish list yesterday but it’s not that ambitious. I need to make a list for the next two years, and make it happen!
Oh gosh… I hadn’t even thought about the stuff we want to do as a family before my oldest son graduates from high school… next year! I’ve been spending the whole last year just noticing that the time is running short before he ventures out on his own (and realizing just how much graduation/college entrance stuff he/we need to get done before then). You got me thinking though and now I suppose I’ll have a few more things to add to my list… thanks for the food for thought… I think! ;)
The days do have a way of just slipping by, don’t they? But when we have a lazy day like we did today, where we’re just sort of home together doing nothing in particular, there is value in that. Those are the kind of days I miss when I think about my own childhood, not the big events particularly. So as long as I don’t let a day go by without my kids knowing I love them I think we’re doing okay, even if we don’t get to everything that sounds cool to do.
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http://the-quiet-corner.blogspot.com/
Time is, indeed, short. My father passed away from a brain tumor just a year ago; we had 15 months with him after his diagnosis. Every time we thought of a fun activity, we included him (and my mother) so that my boys would have fun memories of their grandfather, not just the thought of his death to remember. I was 37 at the time, and it really brought home to me how EVERY DAY needs to be memorable, EVERY EVENT needs to be something we talk about afterwards and smile over, and EVERYTHING WE DO can be special for one reason or another. Even just having a picnic at the park was special, because we were there as a family and it was fun. :) You can put fun things in each day, just a hug or a smile or a fun half hour watching TV together can be an event – but I agree with your post, it’s good to make concrete plans for these things before “someday” isn’t around any more. Oh, you’re making me cry! :)