The Casting Agent

Last night I was suckered in to helping with the auditions for the elementary school play. I’ve never done any previous casting work, but being fairly judgmental I thought I would probably do just fine.

I was wrong.

It turns out I am a total sap for almost any child on stage and I am a double sucker if I already know the child.

For example, this little girl who has been in my son’s class since kindergarten auditioned. I grinned like a total fool the entire time and immediately wanted to cast her as the lead even though she is only in second grade and maybe, possibly a sixth grade boy would make a more believable giant. But she was so cute! And she has good manner and I really like her parents.

See? This is why I can’t be a judge. I am physically and emotionally incapable of being unbiased.

My daughter, who was forced into sitting through twenty-three auditions by having the misfortune of being the child of a sucker on the same night her brother had a Cub Scout den meeting, has zero interest in being in the play yet somehow enjoyed the experience. Maybe it was because she knew some of the kids trying out for parts. You could tell it was Jay’s brother because he looks exactly the same but bigger. I call him Future Jay. Or maybe she is well on her way to being bossy and judgy just like her mom.

Mostly I am bummed because I thought that if this blogging career didn’t work out for me I would be a great casting agent. Of course I have no official training. I came by this opinion after watching three seasons of “Project Greenlight”. I figured that after the kids go to college we could move out to Hollywood and see who is hiring. I suppose my chances of actually becoming a casting agent are about as good as my other alternative career plans: sports photographer, rock star, commercial real estate agent, actuary.

I don’t really want to be an actuary. I was just seeing if you were still even paying attention. I don’t even really know what an actuary does, but my guess is that it involves a great deal of math and is therefore not the job for me.

There is still a whole second day of auditions, but I can’t go due to previous engagements (see: monthly dinner date with some blogging ladies) and so I won’t be involved in the final role assignments. But that won’t stop me from putting this down on my resume if the whole sports photographer thing doesn’t work out. I am sure to be more impartial if I don’t know any of their moms.


[photo: Nancy Fitzgerald]

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