My name is Roxanna, and I have three sons.
I realize this doesn’t sound like a lot to some of you — Babble’s Alli Worthington has five — but even I get comments about my all-male brood. Some are sympathetic (“you must be exhausted!”) and some are just plain rude (“are you sad one of them isn’t a girl?”) but it seems that everyone has an opinion on boys. Sadly, that opinion isn’t exactly positive a lot of the time.
Well, I got tired of people feeling sorry for me when they heard I have all boys — so I created a place, The Frog & Snail Society, that celebrates boys and all the good stuff that comes with them. Consider the Society Page at Babble (this here blog) our weekly newsletter. Welcome!
When we found out that our family would be a boy family, my OB-GYN put her hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes and said, “as a mother of three boys, I have to warn you: Your bathrooms will never be the same.” And with a wink and a smile, I was initiated into a new sisterhood, one that I never knew existed – I became a Mom Of Boys. And you know what? I like it. I like it a lot.
But I won’t deny that getting to this point took some time.
I’m definitely not sad that my kids are all boys — but I always assumed that I would have a daughter. After all, I’m a daughter myself, so it’s familiar territory. Don’t get me wrong; it’s not because I wanted to have a little girl to play dress up with. (I hate when people say that by the way. Little girls aren’t paper dolls.) To be honest, having to worry about matching tights and shoes and color coordinating outfits gives me a headache sometimes. And that’s just getting myself dressed – I couldn’t imagine having to go through that with a child.
It’s just that loved being a girl, and I love being a woman. I can’t help it if I imagined myself sharing my experience with a daughter.
But if there’s one thing being a mom has taught me, it’s that there are no guarantees. I could have had three daughters instead of three sons and it doesn’t mean that I would get to relive my childhood through them. Children have a way of being their own people. It doesn’t take being a mom of boys to learn this — any parent of a teenager will tell you that the chances that your child will grow up to be a mini-you are remote. But I think that when your kids are of the opposite gender, you learn this lesson a little earlier — perhaps because it’s easier not to expect them to have the same childhood you had. I’m pretty sure my boys won’t be as obsessed with Strawberry Shortcake as I was, but who knows!
What mothering sons has taught me is that boys are awesome little people in their own right. They’re clever and sweet and tender and tough and sweaty and fascinating. They love their families fiercely but most of all, they love Spiderman.
If you have sons, you know this already.
And if you’re expecting your first son and you’re scared because you don’t know what you’re getting into, I have one thing to tell you: Welcome to the club.
You are very lucky, indeed.