The Gadget that Changed our Lives.John Cave Osborne
Okay, maybe a bit dramatic. But I’ll tell you this much. We did just stumble upon a gadget that’s changed our nights. That’s for sure. And what’s funny is that at first, I wanted no part of it.
And who could blame me? First, the kids saw it on TV and decided they couldn’t live without it. So seriously. Tell me the last thing you bought off TV that went well. Mine was the “Snackmaster” which was purchased one late (quite possibly drunken) night during college. And say what you want about the Snackmaster, but that thing could totally crank out some award-winning grilled cheese sandwhiches.
But the point is this: the successful Snackmaster stories are the exceptions, not the rule, right? Because nothing ordered on TV ever works out. So that was strike one against this particular gadget. It appeared on TV and was not called the Snackmaster. But there was also a sizable strike two. It was a stuffed animal that was partly comprised of hard plastic. Just like the radio that was shaped like a plush dog that my cousin picked up during an ill-fated stuffed animal fight in the late 70s.
I told him not to throw it, but he would go on to explain in the ER waiting room that he thought that meant that I really did want him to throw it. It hit me on the head and the volume button took a chunk out of my cranium and required, I dunno, something like ten stitches to close up.
So when the triplets got it in their minds that they wanted the “Dream Lites” for Christmas, I was all like “No, there’s no way, man.” Because, first, you couldn’t make grilled cheeses with them and second, they’re a bad temper (or a misunderstanding, possibly both) away from a trip to Children’s Hospital.
But, like so many domestic matters, I was overruled. And, truthfully, I thought little of it till the triplets opened them up on Christmas morn. And by that point, I realized there were so many other gifts (which is another post entirely) that I was hopeful that the Dream Lites would get lost in the shuffle.
But that night, when the triplets asked where they were as we headed up to bed, I knew that the Dream Lites were here to stay. You’ve seen these deals, right? They’re like part stuffed animal part psychedelic light show? You know what else they turned out to be? Gateway drugs to… leaving the nightlight behind.
Yep, that’s right. The first night the boys slept with theirs, they wanted their nightlight turned off. You know, all that light pollution was messing up the light show on their ceiling, man. Same thing with Kirby. She wanted us to turn off the bathroom light we normally leave on for her.
But wait. There’s more. Each of the triplets have their own little fake Christmas tree deal because Caroline’s very Yuletide like that. And all three of them are modestly lit. And all three of them are now turned off at night. Again, light pollution, man. Ruin’s the Dream Lite show, bra.
But here’s the biggest thing about the Dream Lites. Ever since the kids have started using them, they go straight to sleep! It’s like the LCD light show on their ceiling comes with a dose of Melatonin or something because the kids have been going down in record time. And with the 20-minute timer that comes with the Dream Lites? It’s not even like they’re wasting batteries.
Not that we’re tempting fate, thank you very much. I mean, don’t think for a second that we don’t have like 50 triple A Energizers ready to go in the pantry because we do. And who can blame us, man? This Dream Lite business is a racket. And the last thing we wanna do is be caught unprepared for when the batteries finally go.
Do you have a go-to nighttime gadget for your little ones?
Read more of JCO Multiplied:
My Life’s Profound New Goal
NYC Nanny Killings: Personalizing the Tragedy
7 Things You Should NOT Discuss With the Parents of Triplets
How the DVR Ruined My Vacation in Specific and Parenting in General
15 Things Every Stepparent Should Know
Follow me on Facebook and Twitter
Check out my personal blog over at JohnCaveOsborne(dot)com