The Kid Who Drank The Great Lakes: A Tale Of Taming Midnight PeeSerge Bielanko
In the past few weeks my daughter, Violet, decided that she wanted to drink a little water.
“Daddy,” she’d ask me, kind of shy-like. “Can I have a big girl cup of wooder?”
At first I thought it was a joke/a trick/a scheme. Why would she want water? She loved milk and juice already and typically it isn’t like kids who already have a taste for the harder stuff get real excited about a plastic cup filled with aqua from the tap.
But, listen, when something good comes your way as a parent, something unexpected and, dare I say it, healthy(!), you don’t sit around trying to second-guess it or get to the bottom of it.
What you do is: you run with it.
And so I did. Fast.
“Water?” I replied, trying to keep my cool. “Ummm, yes yes, of course you can have some water, honey! What a GREAT choice!”
And that was the beginning of that. Before long, I was doling out cups of water every twenty minutes. Smugly too, I might add; in my mind, I pictured gathering with other parents in the playground (that never happens, but still) and quietly dropping the bomb on them as they complained about their picky eaters/drinkers.
“My Bobby will only drink Diet Mountain Dew from an old fruit jar,” one mommy would sigh.
“I feel your pain,” a tired daddy would chime in. “Our Bella only drinks organic soy milk that costs three bucks a cup.”
That’s when I’d strike.
“Wow, that stinks,” I’d say. “Our Violet drinks 68 cups of water a day and the doctor says her skin is as luminous as a fresh springroll.”
The other parents would stare at me with disgust and envy while they whimpered their approval.
So, yeah. I gave Violet water. I gave her lakes of it.
But, then came the pee.
I guess I should have seen it coming, really.
If a 35 pounder starts guzzling water like a pirate in a Rum Bar, she’s going to start blowing up some pee-pees pretty fast, right? Well, that’s exactly what happened.
In the daytime, things weren’t so bad. Violet is 3 now and she is still battling us on the diaper/potty thing, but we are making some progress and so there wasn’t a lot of time for her to have any big time #1’s without her mom or I knowing about it and dealing with it.
But, nighttime was a different story. I started waking up in the morning to full-on exploded diapers. If you’re a parent, you’ve probably experienced that. It’s a harrowing reality . I’d go in to her bedroom to take her down to breakfast and there she was sitting in her bed surrounded by bits of some bizarre gelatinous foam that looked as if someone had blasted her with a fire extinguisher in the wee small hours.
Immediately, I knew what was up, of course. Her new-found taste for H2O was coming back to haunt her, and us. She was super-hydrated and her diapers weren’t holding out under all of this bonus pee!
But, short of setting my alarm clock to wake up a couple times a night to change her diaper, I was confused. What could I do? What could we do? I could try and get the kid to give up her ‘evening cocktail,’ the cup of water with three ice cubes she looked forward to having every night, sitting at the kitchen island with dad, chatting about her day over an icy beverage before bed. Yet, that seemed like a cool thing to me, something I didn’t want to just up and take away from her for reasons she wasn’t going to necessarily understand, or care about.
Then, in the 11th hour: I remembered that I’d signed on to do something conveniently convenient.
I remembered that I’d taken an assignment a few weeks ago to test out some different diapers, some Huggies brand stuff.
And, oy vey, talk about incredibly good timing.
Violet’s morning bed is clean and dry now.
And diaper-guts-free too!
Not once since I’ve been utilizing Huggies specialty Overnites diapers have I had to sop up a massive mess of exploded diaper in the morning.
I was hesitant to have much faith in the Overnites, mostly because they were actually called ‘Overnites’ and how often is it that we actually buy a product that does exactly what it is supposed to do? But now, I have to come out as a tried-and-true believer. These things were obviously created for moms and dads and kids who want to be able to get a good night’s rest without having to worry about midnight leaks or 3 a.m. explosions!
So, nice one, Huggies.
Every single night now, me and Violet are still having our little drinks party, still meeting up as the day winds down for our happy discussion of what went on at daycare and what Dora’s been up to, the two of us gathered around her cool clean cup of ‘ice-cube wooder.’
And I think I speak for both of us when I say, we’re really really glad about that.