The Most Annoying Christmas Songs (Every Year)

During this time of year, my family and I love to pile into the minivan and drive to Candy Cane Lane which is a neighborhood where there is some sort of law on the books that you have to pimp out your house with over-the-top crazy Christmas decorations. One of the houses makes it’s entire front yard look like the It’s a Small World ride at Disneyland. Which, maybe doesn’t have that much to do with Christmas when you really sit and think about it. Anyway, every time we drive, we crank up 103.5 Kost FM which plays non-stop Christmas music from November to Christmas every year. But every year I’m reminded that there are a couple of truly annoying Christmas songs -yeah, some major duds in the old holiday catalog. Before writing this post, I went to FB and asked other people for their most annoying songs, compared them with mine and gave you the best of the worst. Feel free to add your most annoying Christmas song in the comments. And, oh yeah, have a merry merry Christmas. Try not to get run over by a reindeer.

  • "Christmas Time is Here" by Vince Guaraldi Trio 1 of 13
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    Call me a Scrooge but I don't like that loud children's choir thing when there's a butt load of vibrato. It's annoying. And that's the point of this post is to call out what's annoying. Now you may not find it annoying at all and that's okay. Actually it's perfect for you since this song is played eighteen thousand million times a day.

     

    Listen: Christmastime is Here (Youtube)

    Image Courtesy of Amazon

  • "Christmas Shoes" 2 of 13
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    Basically a little boy wants to buy his mama some new pumps so she can look good when she meets Jesus. BECAUSE SHE'S GOING TO DIE. MERRY CHRISTMAS NOW GO SPIKE ME SOME RUM.

     

    This song makes "Do They Know It's Christmas" seem like an upbeat camp song. But more than, that it's so over-the-top cheesy that it was instantly made into a Lifetime movie. I know this is besides the point but is Jesus some sort of footwear snob? I believe he spent most of his time in sandals. Why would he suddenly be expecting people to show up in Jimmy Choos?

     

    Listen: Christmas Shoes YouTube

    Image courtesy of Amazon

  • "Blue Christmas" by Elvis 3 of 13
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    From the school of affected rock comes (in my estimation) Elvis's most over-the-top, trying too hard hit since "In the Ghetto" (which I actually like btw). Also, he's hit his limit for songs with "blue" in the title. Is he going to wear his blue suede shoes to his blue Christmas? And will he be eating any bleu cheese? In Blue Hawaii?

     

    Listen: Blue Christmas YouTube

     Image courtesy of:  Amazon

  • "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" 4 of 13
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    Does anyone like this song? Someone must or why would it be played constantly? Is it you? Are you the reason that this song comes on 103.5 when my family and I are minding our business trying to drive around the neighborhoods looking at Christmas lights? If it is you, just admit it? You'll feel better in your heart to come clean and let me punch you.

     

    Listen: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus YouTube

    Image courtesy of Amazon

  • "Baby, It’s Cold Outside" 5 of 13
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    I don't actually find this song annoying. But I do see how the lyrics can be interpreted as a little questionable when listened to it nowadays. But really it's so out of date. Here's how it would go if it was recorded now

     

    "I really must go."

    "Baby, Real Housewives is on."

    "The answer is no."

    "But baby Real Housewives is on. Orange County."

    "Well, maybe just a minute more."

     

    And that being said, come on, Barry Manilow would totally want to watch RHOC. I consider myself a Fanilow. And the Barry KT Oslin version is my fave.

     

    Listen: Baby It's Cold Outside YouTube

     Image courtesy of Amazon

  • "Jingle Bell Rock" by Bobby Helms 6 of 13
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    This song is just simply not good. We all know this. Let's drop the facade that it's entertaining in any way and as a group maybe we can get this thing off the air. We can't do it alone though, we need everyone to join in. So get in the Christmas spirit and get rid of this bad song!

     

    Listen: Jingle Bell Rock 

    Image courtesy of Amazon

  • "Dominic the Donkey" 7 of 13
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    Okay to be honest I'd never even heard of this song but a lot of people said it's annoying. But then my Facebook friend, Kim Mecham, said, "I'm not sure what Dominic the Donkey really has to do with Christmas but I've got to admit I like the rousing 'La la la' part. It's like taking part in a crazy Irish drinking song...that's Italian." She makes a good point!

     

    Image courtesy of Amazon

  • "Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" 8 of 13
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    Well I was having a wonderful Christmas time right up until I heard this song AGAIN. This song is simply awful. On the other hand, it's better than lots of stuff Paul did with Wings.

     

    Listen: Simply Not Having a Wonderful Christmas Time

     Image courtesy of Amazon

  • "It’s Christmas Don’t Be Late " by Alvin and the Chipmunks 9 of 13
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    This song wasn't annoying for about one day when it was released in like 1980. Then for every day after, it was.

     

    Listen: It's Christmas Don't Be Late YouTube

    Image courtesy of Amazon

  • "Last Christmas" by Wham! 10 of 13
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    I don't know why but this song is annoying. Maybe it's too bouncy or too 80's or too George Michael-y. But whatever the reason, I'm done hearing it. Let's make this the last Christmas we have to be subjected to it. See what I did there?

     

    Listen: Last Christmas

    Image courtesy of Amazon

  • "Grandma Got Run Over By a … " you know the rest 11 of 13
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    Vladamir Putin is releasing a lot of political prisoners these last few days. Couldn't we just trade him Elmo and Patsy for a few more? I think that would be fair.

     

    Listen: Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer YouTube

    Image courtesy of Amazon

  • "Santa Baby" by Madonna 12 of 13
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    Full disclosure: I haven't enjoyed a single thing Madonna's done since her first album. And yes, we called them albums back then. And her first album was pretty darned great. "Borderline" is an awesome song, as is "Holiday" and "Lucky Star".

     

    But Santa Baby is one of the worst songs she's ever recorded and that's narrowing it down between every song she's ever done since that one good album. Also, WTH is that album cover about?

     

    Listen: Santa Baby YouTube 

    Image courtesy of Amazon

  • "Same Old Lang Syne" 13 of 13
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    Okay guess what, this song is NOT annoying. I love it. It reminds me of being a kid with an AM radio that I held in the backseat of the car on a camping trip all lonely and sh*t just listening for "Same Old Lang Syne" because it was a hit at the time and crying and crying because Dan Fogelberg got me and all my angsty feelings. Dan? Dan? Dan where are you? Dan I love you. Please come sing this to me and help me know you still care.

     

    Merry Christmas!

     

    Image courtesy of Amazon

    Same Old Lang Syne

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