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These Are Not Oprah’s Favorite Things

photo courtesy of Dreamstime

When I go to bed at night, the last thing I think about is how much I’m going to enjoy my first cup of coffee the next day. Sometimes in life you need a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Not that I’m depressed because au contraire, my life is very happy and fulfilled. I’ve got a great husband, two great kids I MEAN THREE, and I love my work. But I do have a lot of stress AS WE ALL DO. Jesus, people, it’s not a competition! And sometimes I just feel like I could use a little time out, you know? I don’t get spa days or therapy or even enough of my “support group” meetings because I am on the go. So since I can’t unwind with a little vino or twenty Percocets, I’ve had to really rely on some of life’s simple pleasures to get me through the rough spots. Without further ado, besides coffee, here are just five my favourite things (not Oprah’s favourite things because I don’t have that kind of cake lying around) (also don’t you just love the British spelling of favourite? That should really be on the list).

  • Trader Joe’s French Toast 1 of 5
    Trader Joe's French Toast
    If you've tried it you are probably popping a couple of pieces in the toaster oven at my mere mention of them. I start off every day with two slices but I put them in the oven for 9 minutes instead of the foolishly recommended 8. If Mr. Joe is reading this, take note: 9 is way better. It's just like real French toast only no pan, milk, eggs and whatever ingredient real people use to, like, make it from scratch or whatever. Personally I put a little I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray on it but you do whatever you want. I'm not in charge of you.
  • Pomegranates 2 of 5
    Pomegranates
    I love pomegranate. It's like nature's fruit. See what I did there? It is fruit. Whatever. I absolutely love the taste of pomegranates but I also like taking two hours to eat a fruit so this one works out well for me. Sometimes if I have a whole evening to kill, I'll eat two.
  • Yoga pants 3 of 5
    Yoga pants
    Have I mentioned that I live in yoga pants? Maybe it's because of all the French toast I eat. Once I put on a pair of jeans (which I find to be the ultimate muffin top maker) to pick my kid up from school and multiple people asked, "Where are you going all dressed up?" "What do you mean," I asked, "I'm just in jeans." "Yes, but we never see you in anything but yoga pants," they all answered. I guess it's my trademark. Did I mention I've never in my life done yoga? I like a little spandex in my life. So sue me.
  • My Kindle 4 of 5
    My Kindle
    Some people don't like Kindles because don't want to say goodbye to the real thing: a book with heft and weight that you can hold in your hands. Those people have never tried to read at the gym. Look I'm an author, I get it. But books take up a lot of space and unless you're like a super Rob Lowe fan, I doubt you need to keep his memoir on hand to re-read to yourself over and over. I keep my Kindle close by at all times and I can read a book straight through without ever needing to recharge.
  • Singing and Killing 5 of 5
    Singing and Killing
    I only wish American Idol or The Voice were on every night of the week. You can have The Bach back and just leave me with struggling singers with a sympathetic back story. Or…any episode of 48 Hour Mysteries or Dateline 20/20 where there's a murder. What's wrong with me? I don't know but my husband won't watch them with me and that makes me feel very abandoned (Jon if you're reading this, maybe you should rethink your stance). I love killing apparently.

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