This Holiday Brought To You By Chocolate

Did You Say Something?
Did You Say Something?

It seems that every month of the year has it’s own special holiday.

Whether it’s Thanksgiving or Brent Snyder Day, there is some reason for celebration.

To the point it starts to feel a little silly.

Did our forefathers brave developing new government and building a country so we could have sheet sales at the mall?

I mean, I love new bed linens as much as the next patriot, but they’re 600 count EGYPTIAN COTTON.  Egypt. It’s not even OUR country, people!


Back to the point.

Which was: CANDY

Yes, candy.

And greeting cards.

It seems to me that holiday traditions are really nothing more than reasons for mom and dad to have buy “Happy Stupid Holiday!!” cards while comforting themselves with the chocolate carved into sculptures of  miscellaneous historical figures.

Proof: I’m pretty sure there were no fat, jolly men when baby Jesus was born.

Proof: Show me one boiled egg at the crucifixion.

Proof: 90% of the fireworks at displays are made in China.  (Not that I have anything against China. China’s great! I love their dumplings.)

Proof: Pilgrims didn’t even HAVE Honey Baked Hams!!!

So, the next time I’m writing out that card to Grandma, I’ll remember my very important reason for observing the holiday rites.


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