Thomas Beller is the author of two books of fiction, Seduction Theory, and The Sleep-Over Artist, and a collection of personal essays, How To Be a Man. The Sleep-Over Artist was a NY Times Notable Book, and a LA Times Best Book 2000. A former staff writer at the New Yorker Magazine and the Cambodia Daily, he is currently a contributing editor at Travel and Leisure Magazine. He founded and for twenty years co-edited Open City Magazine, and created the literary website about New York, Mrbellersneighborhood.com. He divides his time between New York and New Orleans, where he teaches writing at Tulane University.
Thomas Beller is author of the books two works of fiction, Seduction Theory, The Sleep-Over Artist, and an essay collection called How to Be A Man. He was a founder and editor of Open City Magazine, and of the literary web site devoted to New York City nonfiction, Mr. Beller's Neighborhood. He contributes regularly to Travel and Leisure Magazine, The New Yorker, and The New York Times. He is currently working on a biography of J.D. Salinger, a novel, and essays. He teaches at Tulane University in New Orleans.
by Elizabeth Beller
It’s April. Thank GOD. You’ve made it through the winter holidays and then the spring ones. You are ready for a long stretch in which parties, when they occur, are not so coercive, do not require costumes, forced good cheer, or the reading from a book and discussion of slaves before dinner is served. A sigh of relief. Then the IRS rears its ugly head.
PANIC! Which lasts until the moment you simply accept that you must spend a good chunk of time, a few work days at least, on yet another mundane adult task. The problem with all these tasks is that they conspire to rob you of your life– the one you would be otherwise enjoying. The life which, you must acknowledge, you wouldn’t have to begin with if you didn’t buckle down to do these adult tasks.
But then it hits you…You don’t really mind the taxman. You don’t love April 15th, mind you, but there are many other things you prefer, such as birthdays (cake!) and Mother’s Day (more cake if I get my way!) But there are things about Uncle Sam’s Annual Day of Reckoning that can be construed as good.
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NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
I know most people take stock in December and start anew in January. But frankly I’m usually in a rather boozy, heavy hors d’ouvre, cocktail party haze during the holidays, while simultaneously dealing with the daddy issues the season always conjure. It's not my time for self-improvement . The ancient Babylonians celebrated their new year to coincide with the beginning of spring until the Romans, along with murderous pillaging, changed things to the Julian Calendar. But their empire lasted 2,500 years and the Romans only 1,700 if you stretch the numbers. Happy New Spring Resolutions.