Categories

‘Tis The Season Of The Itch

Just like a granola bar! But, you know, boney.

It’s almost Flu season!  Whoohoo!

What am I talking about?  School has been in session for weeks, your child has either come home with a cough, the sniffles or if you are really lucky, lice.  At least,  you don’t have lice.  You’ve checked yourself a thousand times over but still….that phantom itch persists.  The itch aka : the “knowing” that for this whole school year (read: decade) you will be fighting off some kind of ailment.

Let’s face it.  The first official month of school is disgusting.  So you must arm yourself with pharmaceutical or natural weaponry to slay the most minor cold and the most repulsive glob of mucus.  Do not leave yourself defenseless otherwise you too will succumb to illness and spend weeks in bed blowing your nose and downloading HBO shows, watching multiple episodes in succession like some kind junkie who’s vice is high quality television.  I know this sounds almost lovely but trust me, after you’ve finish season 5, episode 12 of whatever, you’ll be left with an empty feeling in your stomach and laundry that, at this point, you might as well just throw out.

Do not feel you are alone.

For centuries parents have been fighting the bugs that come home with children who, if placed under a microscope, are teeming with creepy crawly things.  My own parents personally destroyed any future relationship I could possibly have with Jameson Irish Whisky because they used it for anything and everything.  One sniff of Jameson and I’m instantly transported back to third grade and a runny nose.  When I finally got pneumonia in Grade six it came as a shock to my Irish mother that it couldn’t be solved with a shot of Jameson, 2 cloves, half a teaspoon of sugar and a little boiling water.

I certainly can’t fault my mother for her cold-fighting technique (which worked) as my personal vice is boiling bones.  As soon as a runny nose hits my house I’m off to the supermarket for a chicken to boil.  I swear by it.  In fact if I was sent to a deserted island and could only choose three items mine would be mascara, under eye concealer and chicken bones.

I make a mean chicken soup.  I don’t care if it’s psychosomatic, I just believe it works to cure the common cold.  That, and fresh ginger.  Boiled.  So truthfully if I was sent to that deserted island I’d have to figure out a way to bring my stove.  It may be complicated, but obviously, worth it.

And because I love you here is my world famous super easy Chicken Soup recipe:

ALLANA’S EASY (And mostly lazy) CHICKEN SOUP RECIPE.

  1. Buy a chicken and roast it.  Or, if you’re like me and forget to buy said chicken therefore leaving yourself with no time to make proper roast chicken, purchase a rotisserie chicken.
  2. Strip chicken and boil bones for at least an hour.  If you haven’t left this to the last minute (oh good for you!) then consider making your own stock.  If you’re like me then carry on to step 3.
  3. Peel carrots and slice them in whatever way you want.  I’m not going to say 3 carrots because that’s just silly.  Toss them in strained boiled bone water.  Dispose of bones.  Or make them into delicious granola-like bars if you’re a little crazy.
  4. Clean and slice celery.  However many you want.  Throw them in with carrots to cook.
  5. Add half a cup of rice, bring to boil, and then back to a medium heat.
  6. Add a table spoon of Thyme.  I used dried Thyme because I’m lazy.
  7. Add chicken meat.
  8. Add chicken bouillon if so desired.  I usually include 2 cubes for flavor because I’m too busy to make my own chicken stock.  Feel smug that you at least boiled some bones.
  9. Let it cook while taking this time to watch half an hour of “The Voice” or “The X-factor”.  Say things like, “I’d never watch this if I wasn’t making chicken soup and need to keep an eye on the stove”
  10. Share soup with delicious homemade bread*  Eat and feel cured.

*homemade bread purchased from Portuguese bakery.  Obviously.

So now I’m curious, because this is one area where I think other parents need to offer advice to survive.  What do you do to cure colds?

Follow Sam and Allana on Twitter because The Huffington Post said so.

And Facebook…like us there.  Please like us?

Check out our pals from Babble Voices on — Facebook!

Check out other posts by  Sam and Allana:

In which Allana tackles pacifiers!

In which Sam reveals that she turned out okay even though she cries at parties

Where Allana states that Potty Training is a lie and people yell at her.

Tagged as:

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.