Top 5 Lies You Can Tell Your Kids about Puberty

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Look kids, chicklets!

I am the mother to three great kids.

You probably read that a lot, no one will write “My kids are total jackholes!”

But my kids are actually pretty cool, they’ve had to deal with us as parents and they’ve survived.  That’s a big deal.

So, recently, my oldest (a boy) has started the joyful rainbow path we call puberty.

I’m doing my best as a parent to teach him the things a young man needs to know.

But my BEST includes lying through my teeth.

TOP FIVE LIES YOU CAN TELL YOUR KIDS ABOUT PUBERTY

  1. “Where do babies come from?” -> An in-depth explanation of the sales and delivery of Amazon and Groupon.
  2. “So-and-so grew HAIR down there!” -> You explain it’s the first sign that things will fall off.
  3. How does sperm actually GET to the egg?” -> A Geo Metro
  4. “How old do you have to be to have sex?” -> Actual age + Mother’s age + first pet’s age / the height of your gym coach x the number of friends you have on Facebook = age you’re allowed to ask that question again.
  5. What is puberty?” -> An infection you get from mold that grows in your locker.

 

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