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Top Ten Worst Presents

I didn’t get my act together soon enough to come up with a Must Have Christmas Shopping List, but I still may be able to help you with your shopping. I can provide a What To Never Give For Christmas List. There are a couple more days until Christmas and it’s not too late to go back over your purchases and make sure that none of these are under the tree. Here, in no particular order, is my top ten list of the worst presents you can give or get.


  • Gym Membership 1 of 10
    Gym Membership
    The present that says, "Merry Christmas! You're fat." Unless the recipient has specifically asked for a gym membership, you want to stay away from this kind of gift.
  • $5 Box of Crap 2 of 10
    $5 Box of Crap
    The only thing more lame than a $5 box of crap is a $10 box of crap. Or maybe it's a $2 box of crap. I guess it depends on how you look at it. But I think we can all agree that it's probably not a good idea to give anything with the word "crap" in the title. (image: prankplace.com)
  • Regifted Gifts 3 of 10
    Regifted Gifts
    It's not cool to regift a gift to the original giver of the gift. (Say that 5 times fast.) Don't be a Tim Whatley with a Label Baby Junior!
  • Mustache-Shaped Eggs 4 of 10
    Mustache-Shaped Eggs
    Hmmm. For the Tom Selleck lover on your list? (image: stupid.com)
  • A Monkey 5 of 10
    A Monkey
    I know monkeys look cute and cuddly, but monkeys never make good gifts. Point in case - Curious George, Dexter, Marcel, King Kong, Mojo Jojo, The Flying Monkeys from the Wizard of Oz, and the scariest one of all, Boots from Dora the Explorer. (image: stupid.com)
  • Tiny Iron 6 of 10
    Tiny Iron
    First, I see no reason for ironing in the first place. But doing it with an iron the size of a hamster? Well, that's just cruel and unusual (not to mention stupid) punishment. (image: stupid.com)
  • Pooping Moose Sweatshirt 7 of 10
    Pooping Moose Sweatshirt
    Nothing says "Christmas cheer" like a sweater covered in feces. Other than my seven-year-old son, I can't imagine anyone wanting this.
  • Twirling Fork 8 of 10
    Twirling Fork
    If you're too lazy to physically move your fork, then you don't need a plate of spaghetti; what you need is a slap. (image: stupid.com)
  • Underwear Hat 9 of 10
    Underwear Hat
    I don't know what I like most about this product the fact that it's underwear you wear on your head, or the fact that the guy in the picture is all, "Excuse me while I take this important business call" while seemingly oblivious to the fact he has underwear on his head. (image: stupid.com)
  • Fake Snow 10 of 10
    Fake Snow
    This is evil in a bag and I have a new level of hatred for my ex who sent this to my kids for Christmas. This is basically a bag full of those little gel pellets that are in disposable diapers. When you add water to a spoonful of this powder, it expands a million times into a huge pile of puffy, sticky gel that gets everywhere and never goes away. (image: stupid.com)

So, what’s the worst present you’ve ever given or received?

Dawn’s books, Because I Said So and You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and other lies about pregnancy and childbirth) are on the Top Ten BEST Gifts List.

Connect with Dawn on Facebook where all the cool kids hang out!

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