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Torn

In the tug-o-war of life, neither side can lose and you can't drop the rope.

Austin and Lexi get migraines.  Austin doesn’t get them often, thankfully, but unfortunately, Lexi does.  Today, she woke up with a headache.  She walked into my room and collapsed on my floor in tears.  I know if I catch it and give her medicine when the pain first starts, she can usually fall asleep for a couple hours and awake pain-free.  If, however, we don’t catch it immediately . . . well, that generally involves vomiting and pain that lasts all day.

I jumped out of bed and got her medicine, then I stood there at a loss.  Ordinarily, I would tell her to go back to bed, knowing she will awake in a couple hours and feel good.  Then I’d take her to school a little late and she’d make it through the day just fine.  But now?   Well, now I have to go to work.  What do I do, what do I do, my mind raced.  I can’t call the school and tell them I’m going to be late!  It’s only my second week!  I can’t make my daughter get up and go, knowing she’ll throw up and be miserable all day either. 

I let Lexi lie down for ten minutes, then insisted she get up and get ready for school.  She cried, she got dizzy, she plopped onto the floor.  I felt like crap.  Forget the job, I decided.  Not that it isn’t super-important, but this is my kid here.  My kid!  Anyone who’s ever experienced a migraine knows what I’m talking about.  I couldn’t force her to go to school.  I contacted the principal, freaking out because I didn’t know what to do.  I asked her if someone could take my first period  class.  I have my planning period second and knew Lexi would be awake and fine in time for me to get to third.

In the end, it worked out, but talk about feeling torn.  I take my responsibilities seriously, both to my kids and my job.  It sucks feeling pulled in two directions like that.  But I think I’ve figured it out.  I had a talk with my kids and told them, in no uncertain terms, “You are not allowed to get sick during the week.  Ever.”  I think it’ll work.

Buy my book and I’ll sing for you. Oh wait, I meant to write – buy my book and I’ll stop singing.

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