Twas the Night Before Christmas 2011John Cave Osborne
We stuffed all the stockings, and wrapped all the gifts.
And even remembered to hook up St. Nick.
With cookies and milk — the rules of engagement.
And carrots for Rudolph — the standard arrangement.
The month of December — it’s no easy deal.
The stress we encounter is taxing and real.
But after the season — it’s still quite a grind.
This parenting gig can be sorta unkind.
And now with an infant, we’re thrown for a loop.
Unlimited stress and unlimited poop.
Our baby will scream, then, BOOM. Not a peep.
And alternate both to prohibit our sleep.
But thank goodness he’s part of the storm we must weather,
The only one able to keep it together.
At least a lot better than the trio of tots.
Often delightful, but often they’re snots.
Just part of the deal when your triplets are four.
And, oh by the way, we’ll be having no more.
Five kids, you’ll agree that it’s plenty to feature,
And led me to opt for my recent procedure.
You’d get one, too, if you wore my shoes.
Constantly watching that pussy Caillou.
Restoring the peace after fights over bread.
Fielding complaints cause a bowl isn’t red.
And don’t get me started on car-seat endeavors.
I wish they’d be cool with just sitting wherever.
The food that the trio crams under their seats?
I suppose that they think biohazards are neat?
Band-Aids for boo-boos that never existed.
Those bad bed-time standoffs, the sleep they resisted.
The yanking of weenies which boy the promoter?
And whom should I thank for the bathwater floater?
That smell? It’s Luke’s diaper. It’s starting to stink.
And one of the triplets just puked in the sink.
And Alli is mad cause Sammy annoyed her.
I’m pretty sure Briggs took a shit in the foyer.
The perspective from folks who are no longer in it?
Those nice empty nesters say “Savor each minute.”
Advice that they’ll tell you again and again.
Take my kids for a week. Who’ll be savoring then?
All of that said, I admit I don’t get it.
So, savor I try I don’t wanna regret it.
The seeds that my beautiful wife and I planted?
I promise they’re ones that I won’t take for granted.
The chaos is draining, of that there’s no doubt.
And life would be better if they didn’t shout.
But life ain’t s’posed to be simple and free.
And life’s about more than just Lovie and me.
The life that we lead? It’s mostly for them.
The life we’d choose over and over again.
We love our big fam’ly with all of our might.
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Here’s to you and your family. I hope y’all have the best holiday season yet. Here’s a pic of our crew taken on December 18 of this year. That whole Santa thing can go either way, you know…