Many of you know that I joined eHarmony recently. If you don’t know, you’re clearly not reading my blog often enough. You know who you are. (pointed, raised eyebrow stare) Anyway, I’m not sure that online dating is for me. I’m not in a rush to find a husband or anything. If God leads me to a good man, that’s great. If not, then I know I’ll be supplied with the tools I need to survive and be happy on my own. It’s all good.
That said, I’ve learned a few things from my foray into the world of online dating and I feel the need to share them here. There are a LOT of you who need help with your dating profiles. In fact, I’d venture to wage that most of you could stand some help. If you think you don’t fall into this category, ask yourself – How much interest is my profile generating? Am I getting emails, winks, icebreakers, and messages from possible matches? Are people even taking the time to look at my profile? If you aren’t receiving the attention you desire then perhaps your profile is making potential matches think you’re
an uneducated troll not that desirable. Allow me to elaborate.
Here, in no particular order, are twelve rules for creating a decent online dating profile. The first three rules really go hand-in-hand, but they are all so important that I’m separating them and giving them individual attention.
1. POOR GRAMMAR
EXAMPLE: I’m am like to walks on the beach and opening the doors for ladys is something I do alot.
You don’t have to be an English teacher to use proper grammar. If this is not your strong suit, then find someone to help you! True, a poorly written profile may not scare off everyone who reads it, but it will definitely eliminate a fair amount of people who have the ability to read.
2. POOR SPELLING
EXAMPLE: I like to get out their and do phisical activitiees and doing thing outside like serfing and playing soccar.
Two words – spell check. Again, if spelling is something with which you struggle, get help!
3. POOR PUNCTUATION
This will undoubtedly come as a shock to some of you, but stringing 250 words together does not a sentence make.
EXAMPLE: Let’s eat Grandma! Or Let’s eat, Grandma!
Punctuation: It saves lives.
4. BORING PROFILES
Stand out! I read several profiles a day and they all sound the same. Why should I take time out to talk to some guy who sounds like every other guy out there?
EXAMPLE GUY A: I’m looking for someone honest who likes the same things I like. My partner must like keeping in shape and watching movies. I hope to find that special someone to share my life with.
EXAMPLE GUY B: . . . I know many women where we like each other well enough. I make ‘em laugh; we are an intellectual, moral, and recreational match. We both love Long Walks On The Beach, Fine Dining, and Can Go From Jeans-And-A-Tee-Shirt to A-Little-Black-Dress-And-Pearls In The Bat Of An Eyelash (although I had to have my LBD tailored — you should have seen the looks on their faces at Neiman Marcus). But I’m still looking for that one special person. . .
Now, just from those little snippets, who would you rather talk to?
5. TOO SPECIFIC
EXAMPLE: I’m looking for a woman who is 5’6″ and weighs no more than 140 pounds. My ideal mate has blond hair and blue eyes, but I’ll consider light brown hair. I’d really like to find someone employed in the medical field.
Although I think it’s a good idea to list some details about the kind of person for whom you’re searching, being too specific makes you sound
like a jerk picky. And yes, you’re allowed to be picky about potential partners, but don’t list every requirement in your profile!
The next several rules deal with profile photographs.
6. IT WAS “THIS” BIG!
Okay men, I understand your need to document the catch of the day, but this is not a photo you want to include on your dating profile unless you’re looking to meet other men. The same goes for dead animal heads hanging on the wall.
7. PHOTOS WITH MOM
To be honest, I hesitated for a bit on this one. It could mean nothing more than a guy who’s showing potential matches that he loves his mom and he’s been taught to respect women. Then again, it might mean he lives in mommy’s basement and she still cooks for him and does his laundry. Ultimately, it’s best to leave the I <3 Mom pic off your profile.
8. PHOTOS OF VEHICLES
I’ve seen pictures of cars, campers, boats, motorcycles, jet skis, and ATVs. Again, I wonder just what audience these men are trying to impress with these photos. Yes, I’m sure there are some women who would be impressed by your car, but do you really want a woman who is talking to you solely because you own a sweet ride?
9. PHOTOS OF SCENERY
Although those shots of beautiful sunsets, peaceful lakes, and gorgeous mountains are lovely, we want to see what you look like. So, unless you’re in the foreground of that breathtaking scenery shot, leave it off your profile. Including random pictures of landscapes is no different that using a picture of a table, or a napkin, or a Cheeto on your profile.
10. OLD PHOTOS
It’s just plain mean to include pictures from your college football days when you are currently sixty pounds overweight, bald, and missing a tooth. And what do you think your date is going to say when you finally meet her in person? She’ll think you’re her match’s father! Use current photos!
11. PHOTOS IN CARS
Why do so many men like posting pictures of themselves sitting in their cars? And why are these always taken from such a low angle that it just ends up being a picture looking up the guy’s nostrils? That’s never a flattering look. For anyone.
12. BATHROOM PHOTOS
This is another common photo that people use. I guess a picture taken in a bathroom mirror isn’t that big a deal as long as there aren’t water spots all over the mirror and dirty towels/hemmorhoid medication on the counter, however it does kind of scream that you have no friends to take a picture of you. And if you must use a bathroom mirror pic, do not use a flash!
Please take my tips and feel free to pass them on to anyone who might need a little help. The online dating world will thank you. And best wishes on finding that special someone!