Tomorrow night marks four weeks that we’ve been here in Florida. In some ways, it seems like we just got here. In others, it feels like we’ve always lived here. I don’t know how to explain it. I really thought I’d be spending my nights, curled up in bed, sobbing over how much I miss my old house. I haven’t done that even once. I thought I’d have moments of melancholy as memories of good times with friends flashed through my head. I haven’t experienced that either. I mean, I do miss my friends, but I haven’t had any gut-wrenching feelings of loneliness. I want to breathe a sigh of relief that this move is indeed a good thing and the reason it seems so easy is because it’s an improvement and a much needed change. But I’m afraid to let my guard down and relax because Murphy’s Law dictates that everything will fall apart in that instant.
It just seems somehow wrong that we could adjust this easily. We should be struggling more, right? We should be wrestling with mixed emotions. And we just aren’t. I mean, the kids have had a couple brief moments where, in missing their friends, they yelled out that they hate Florida, but within minutes, they’ve changed their minds and they tell me they love it here.
Other than a handful of boxes in the garage, things are unpacked and put away. The walls are still bare, but it definitely looks like a family lives here. A very messy family with half a dozen kids, that is. A very messy family that’s spilled nail polish on the floor. A very messy family with wet towels lying all over the lanai. Yeah, that family. I have a new license, my plates and registration have been switched to Florida. Savannah has her permit and Austin will be getting his later this week. I found a place to get low cost physicals for the kids (since I don’t have medical insurance) and as soon as that’s done, I can get them signed up for school. I’m learning my way around here and know where the important things are – the pool and Target. One by one, I’ve crossed things off my mile-long to-do list. I’ve taken care of things, paid bills, put furniture together, ordered appliances, spent time with the kids, gotten cable, internet, and phone hooked up, bought birthday presents for family and friends, opened a UPS box, written dozens of articles, taken care of my lawn to please the HOA, tackled the mountain of paperwork needed to register kids for school in a new state, and gathered estimates to submit a claim to the warranty company.
But I can’t shake this feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m so happy that I’m happy about the move. So when will I be able to sit back, relax, and be confident that I’m not going to wake up one morning, suddenly miserable?