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What Do I Do With this Wedding Dress?

I got married in 1999, then I got distracted.

I didn’t get distracted from the being married part. Since then we have done all sort of things. We bought two houses. We had two babies. We moved 1000 miles. We built careers. We have come a long way. What I mean to say is that I got distracted and just left my wedding dress hanging in the closet.

Yes. I know I should have had it preserved 12 years ago, but I forgot. Then it didn’t seem necessary. Then I bought a bigger house and hung it in the closet of the guest bedroom downstairs and completely forgot about it.

Well, now that downstairs bedroom will be my son’s room and this huge ass dress is hanging in my little closet.

Now I have a dilemma. It isn’t an important dilemma, but it is still a decision I have to make.

What the hell am I supposed to do with this dress?

I seriously doubt I will ever fit into it again and even if I did I don’t have an occasion to wear it. It is a bit much for Safeway. Halloween? The company Christmas party? Even if it were appropriate it is kind of dated.


Please ignore the blur in the background. I am terrible at photoshop.

I asked my daughter if she wanted it. After she stopped staring at me like I was deranged she said no.

But will she want it in 20 or 30 years when she is ready to get married?

I thought about taking it to a consignment shop or selling it on e-bay, but that seems so impersonal.

My friends know a guy who is hiking around the Pacific Crest Trail wearing wedding dresses. I was strongly considering this option, but I think he might be done.

The other day I almost freaked out and threw it in the 30 yard dumpster that is in my driveway, but that seemed rash.

Maybe I should just get it preserved. $150 seemed like a lot more money back in 1999 (which was the last time I looked into this), but it still isn’t anything to sneeze at. $150 is a lot of groceries and even if I do get the dress properly preserved it will still just sit in a box in my closet for another 30 years.

What did you do with your wedding dress?


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Read more from me on Sarah and the Goon Squad and Draft Day Suit
Follow me on Twitter for updates.

More of me on That’s Right. You Heard Me:

Why, Boy Scouts? Why?
10 Free Things to Do With Your Kids in Washington D.C.

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