When Zombies Attack

Austin’s English teacher had the kids write letters to their parents, inviting them to the school’s open house next week. The students were told to bring the letters home, get them signed by a parent, and return them to school. Austin thought that I’d be the only one reading the letter. He figured the teacher would glance at it to make sure it had been signed, and then he’d get the credit for it. He didn’t realize the teacher was going to read the letter before he got to take it home and give it to me. Yeah. This is what he wrote.

Dear Mom,

My teacher would like for me to write a letter to you saying you should go to the PTSA Open House on Tuesday, October 4th, 2011 at 6:00 at XXXXXXX High School. Note, you can’t come in 2004. We had to say it was 2011 to clear up any confusion. Also, remember this is 6:00p.m., not a.m., just in case you were wondering.

She says it’s a “good chance” for you to meet all of my teachers, and become familiar with this “school” and see what or who I have to deal with every, single day. It’s not a conference, but I don’t know if I believe that. They could be zombies trying to lure you into a trap. I don’t trust them. She says “some” teachers “might” give extra credit, but again, they might be zombies. She insists on you RSVPing by emailing her at so she knows how many people to invite for brain feasting.

Austin Meehan


That’s my son. I’m not sure how to respond to this. I keep thinking of responses, but I don’t know which I should use.

A. I’ll be attending. Dawn Meehan

B. I’ll be there, but I’m wearing my helmet. You know, just in case. Dawn Meehan

C. Dear Ms. Teacher, I’m sorry you have to deal with Austin in your class this year. I’m just so sorry. Sorry, Dawn Meehan

Buy Because I Said So so I can bribe Austin’s teachers to pass him. Please.

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Article Posted 5 years Ago
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