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Why I Still Love The Internet, Even Though It Can Be Kind Of A Jerk Sometimes

Here’s the thing about the Internet. It’s big. It’s noisy. It’s full of many, many opinions, often conflicting. Breastfeeding! Bottlefeeding! Attachment parenting! Ferberizing! This! That! Democrat! Republican! Don’t Mind Me, I’m Canadian, Just Up Here Enjoying My Free Socialized Healthcare And 12 Months Of Maternity Leave! Exclamation points are awesome! Exclamation points are annoying and unnecessary! I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?

And of course, there are the pro- and anti-banana factions.

But sometimes a really wonderful thing can happen. We develop a sense of humor about ourselves and maybe just shut up for a minute before rushing in to comment in all caps. We can recognize the distinction between being passionate about a topic and being a jerkwad about it on someone else’s turf.  We can stop making differences in opinions into dealbreakers and learn to enjoy each other’s viewpoints and virtual company. We “meet” people whom we’d likely never meet in real life, and discover that they are really, really awesome and cool.

And I can think of no better example of this kind of cross-the-aisle kumbayaship than the Thanksgiving present the banana-loving Allana Harkin sent for my impossible monkey children:

I showed my boys this photo, once again trying to impart some awareness into their little brains that LOOK MOMMY HAS A JOB AND THAT JOB BRINGS YOU AWESOME THINGS LIKE THIS, but it was useless: Their brains were already puddling up around their shoes as they attempted to comprehend what they were seeing. Ezra, being born in a post-iPhone world, assumed Dino Dan was on the webcam and immediately began bringing Various Interesting Things (socks! apple! Plants vs. Zombies figurines!) over to the computer to show him.

Noah was momentarily starstruck, completely gobsmacked that there was such a thing as a Dino Dan, and spent the rest of the day asking me when “his friend Dan” was coming over to his house for a playdate. Sorry, kid, but this mommyblogging thing can only get you so much. At least a personalized photo from your favorite TV show character is more exciting than coupons for yogurt, amirite?

(NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH BLOGGING FOR YOGURT COUPONS. I AM PRO-PROBIOTICS AND ALSO CAPITALISM. I AM YOU ALL EVERYBODY.)

And now I will concede that I enjoy the occasional banana-related baked good and had completely forgotten about bananas with peanut butter. (But only if someone else makes it for me, because I always squish the banana when spreading the peanut butter because I’m too impatient to let it get to room temperature and ARGH TEXTURE RAGE.) So see?  Sometimes it is good to tackle the tough topics and reassess our own opinions. Bananas do not have to be an all-or-nothing, for-or-against thing after all.

PS. Now I promise to drop this already-shaky metaphor in-joke thing I’ve got going on and start talking about Actual Topics in my next post. Like how everyone who tells you nursing infants only bite you the one time and then learn their lesson are lying liars who lie. Or how yes, I cloth diaper, make my own baby food and if this somehow DOESN’T make me an entirely superior mother to you then what’s the freaking point, man? What do you mean I still don’t win all of the motherhood things? I was told there would be medals, you know.

PPS. Thanks to real-kid Jason (aka Dino Dan) for also taking a moment to indulge my children. So. Awesome. Youguys.

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