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Why Moms Refer To Themselves In Third Person

Give Mommy her phone.  Can Mommy have her phone? Are you listening to Mommy?  Anyone? Anyone?

Give Mommy her phone. Can Mommy have her phone? Are you listening to Mommy? Anyone? Anyone?

You clicked on this post because either:

1. You’ve just become a parent and you can’t believe how you keep calling yourself after this “Mommy” person.  This is a gleeful time.  Enjoy it.

2. Your children are toddlers and you’ve ramped up the third person referencing.  You talk about this “Mommy” person like she’s completely someone other than your own self.  You ask questions like “What did Mommy tell you 5 minutes ago?” like you actually don’t know the answer.

3. You are not a parent and this style of referencing oneself makes you nauseous.  What happened to your cool friend who used to go by her ACTUAL name and refer to herself as a person who is actually PRESENT.

Let’s Discuss….

New parent, you have literally called yourself “Mommy” 400 times today.  That’s totally fine.  Do not second guess yourself or think you’ve completely lost your mind because you haven’t slept in 7 weeks and your nipples feel like they are seconds away from  simply falling off.  You GO GIRL.  Call yourself Mommy!  You just went through 40 weeks of creating a REAL LIVE HUMAN in your belly.  When you lean down into your child’s crib and say “Mommy loves you so much”, “Mommy thinks you are the cutest thing that ever hit the planet” and  “Mommy will seriously consider buying you a car if you let me sleep for 7 hours in a row” you are simply reminding yourself that YES, this is YOUR child and holy moly, YOU ARE a mother.  At one point in your life it really only felt like your mother could be a mother – but all that has changed!  You are a mother!  So if anyone rolls their eyes at you or comments that you’ve somehow forgotten yourself in this whole creating human life from, like, nothing – just tell them to shut up and go buy you a latte.  It’s the least you deserve.  YOU’RE AWESOME!

Toddler Parent, I feel your pain.  You have told your, one or more, children to go to bed multiple times.  You know that, I know that, the whole neighborhood knows it.  If you don’t detach from this situation soon then things are going to reach a boiling point.  LET MOMMY DO THE WORK.  If you start messing around with “I told you to turn off your light 10 times” or “Why aren’t you listening to ME?” then you start to realize that really no one truly listens to you and more so, when did you become so UNFUN and BOSSY?  In order to remain as a functioning member of society parents of toddlers MUST refer to themselves in third person.  “Mommy” told you clean up your room – not ME!  Gee whiz Mommy needs to repeat herself a lot.  Am I right kids?!  Mommy needs a drink!

Non-parent, I hear you!  Wait…no…hold on.  Did you get up this morning and read the newspaper with your coffee?  Oh you did?  Cool.  I digress. I get that it’s difficult to see your friends change/evolve while basically trying to survive parenting.  Wait, what’s that?  You had to walk around a double stroller to get by?  Holy crap, was that hard for you?   Let me continue…sure it’s weird to hear Sue suddenly call herself “Mommy” all the time, what happened to SUE?  PARTY Sue?  Sue who went to graduate school?  Sue who has her doctorate?  Sue who used to throw the best dinner parties?  THAT Sue?  Well, guess what?  YOU have the power to change EVERYTHING!  Just by doing one tiny small significant thing:  Stop being a jerk.  You’re better than this!  Sue just wore her shirt on inside out for 24 hours without anyone telling her.  Yes, she slept in it too.  Sue looks feral.  You’ll know what I’m talking about when you have a baby.  Or if you don’t, the non-jerky policy is helpful in almost all situations.

Go forth Parents!  And third person it!

xo

Check out other blogs at Eating Over The Sink!:

How To Be A Mother

I Suck At Summer

Dear Daughter

The Sport of Parent Shaming

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