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Why no one can shut up about potty training

Screen shot 2013-11-30 at 8.32.27 PM

I usually think it’s seriously gross and kind of an overshare when parents go on and on about potty training. Sure, some people are super tactful about it, and I applaud them. But there’s no way to get around the fact you’re talking about poop. And even though I’ll talk about a lot of crap, I really don’t love bathroom humor of any sort.

I’ve seen friends, even the most private and conservative of friends, go on and on, sharing a play-by-play of their child’s bowl movements on Instagram or Facebook. I’ve snapped at the screen more than once, “Show some restraint people!” after seeing a picture of a child sitting on the toilet with some caption like, “SHE DID IT!” I’ve wondered, “Why can’t people just keep their child’s business their own biz-nazz?”

And then I potty trained my 3-year-old. And I GOT IT.

I finally got why no one can shut up about potty training.

IT CONSUMES YOUR SOUL.

It is this emotionally draining process that puts you and your child in all sorts of new situations that you’ve never before encountered. It’s a roller coaster of emotions: exhaustion, frustration, jubilation, all sorts of ‘tions! And it’s horrible. Even if your child is “ready” as they say, it’s still no cakewalk.

And that’s why no one can keep their trap shut. Because their guard is down, their tact has been worn away. Any scrap of sanity and restraint you might have had, has been stolen by “big girl undies” and all one must do to ensure their dryness.

It’s seriously hard not to talk about poop ALL THE TIME when you’re talking with your child about poop…all of the time. And it’s hard to switch out of that mode when you turn around and try to engage with the rest of the world.

I’ve had a few fairly embarrassing incidents while potty training, but the hardest part about potty training for me, is that for the first time as a parent I’ve put myself in a situation where there is the possibility of being disappointed in my toddler. It’s only for a second or two, when the exhaustion and frustration take over. And for that second when I feel disappointment, I quickly try to remind myself that she’s 3, and probably doing her best. But it happens nonetheless.

And then I feel HORRIBLE for being disappointed in my baby. In that tiny creature I’ve cried over and just about died over. It’s not fair for me to get so upset.

And as I’m looking at her, my heart on the verge of bursting with empathy and love, she turns around throws a tantrum facedown on the floor because I gave her the wrong color gum ball.

Yeah, it’s kind of a roller coaster.

So I’d like to apologize to any parent I’ve silently judged for sharing a little too much info about their child’s victories and failures with that porcelain beast. I for one, will still NOT be sharing gory details, but I totally get why so many of you do.

So the next time you see a friend going out of character, and sharing a little too much info, try to remember that they’re most likely not in their right mind, and you should probably go bring them some caffeine and a donut.

At least that’s what I’d want someone to do for me.

Lots of love friends!

Alison

Find more of Alison’s nonsense and craft ideas on her blog
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