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Why the heck would it be where it goes?

You know what’s really annoying? When things are where they go. I mean, really…

This morning I spent half an hour looking all over the flippin’ house for Noah’s shoes (because apparently Crocs aren’t proper “pre-school attire”). I looked under couches, under desks, in the car, and at least four times in all of the other places Noah likes to kick his shoes off. They weren’t anywhere.

Come on Noah, let’s go look in the backyard.

We have a half-acre backyard.

We scoured over it left to right, top to bottom. We looked in the sandbox. We looked in Buddha’s favorite lounge areas. Still nada.

It was almost time to head off to school. “Where the heck are your shoes, buddy?”

I won’t lie, I was getting annoyed. And flustered.

So, almost sprinting now, I checked the same places I’d already checked several times, only this time I checked the front porch and window wells as well. I mean, you never know but that some darling little four-year old will un-darlingly drop his shoes down there for kicks and giggles.

I did find them.

Eventually.

Five minutes after our designated departure time.

They were in his closet. Sitting all smug-like in his shoe basket.

Why the heck would his shoes be in there?

I mean, sure, that’s where they go, but I don’t think we’ve ever put a pair of shoes in there in our lives.

Shoes that’r kicking around the house just don’t bug me so I’ve never made him go put his shoes “away.”

I asked him how they got there.

“I don’t know, Dad!” He seemed sincere even though he was laughing hysterically.

I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically alongside him.

I think we have a weirdo living in our attic… Putting things away when we’re not looking.

I mean, what other explanation is there?

Dan Pearce, Danoah Unleashed

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