Keeping the Baby Name a Secret
10 reasons I wont share the name before birth
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YOUR DOG
Are you really going to tell me that the name I’ve chosen for my unborn daughter is also the name of your dog? Or turtle? Or fish? What does that say about you? Or me? What do you expect you’ll gain from telling me, and what do you suppose I’ll gain from knowing it? Would this be the appropriate time for me to let you know that the nickname for the mole on my shin rhymes with your name?
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YOUR GREAT AUNT
I gave my firstborn an old-fashioned name, so it’s not unusual for people to tell me that their grandmother also had that name. My second daughter will likely have a traditional name, too. However, when you tell me that your spinster great aunt also had that name, what you’re really telling me is that the name is not so much retro cool as it is passé and reminiscent of a black and white TV set with rabbit ear antenna and an unhealthy fondness for cats.
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THE BULLY IN SECOND GRADE
I’m sorry you had a kid in your class who made an impression on you because of the boogers she used to pick from her nose and wipe under your desk, but I have higher expectations for my unborn daughter, and I would hope that you do, too. Do you honestly think it means my kid will do the same because she’ll have the same name? Isn’t it high time you move on from your playground memories (or nightmares) of yore? Untangle my baby from your issues, please.
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NAME THIEVES
It’s not that I think you’ll steal my unborn daughter’s name, but I’d rather my daughter isn’t one of many, many girls in her class with the same moniker. So if it’s all the same to you, I’ll keep her name to myself until she’s born lest I risk some other expectant mom hearing it and deciding it, too, fits her bundle of joy.
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THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE
It’s a girl! But you already knew that. As such, I’d like to keep some details of my pregnancy private and to myself until I decide it’s time to make an announcement to family and friends.
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THE CRITICS
You wouldn’t walk up to me and tell me you dislike my name, right? Well, just remember that the face behind the name you’re potentially insulting is also in front of you, only it’s masked behind a belly button and a placenta.
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YOUR OPINION
If you’re an active part my life, chances are I value your opinion. However if your opinion is that you know a better name than the one I’ve already chosen for my unborn baby, I’d prefer you keep it to yourself, particularly after I’ve already ordered the monogrammed hooded bath towel.
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STORMS
My daughter will be born during hurricane season. Unlike the girls named Katrina who were born in mid to late August 2005 and might have wished that their parents had taken a moment to check and see what letter in the alphabet the storm-naming people were on before making a final decision, only Mother Nature and I will know if I avoided any names because they became developed into tropical storms.
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I MAY CHANGE MY MIND
While I’ve known since before the pregnancy was a reality what I would name my daughter, I reserve the right to change my mind and not have to explain why. As such, it’ll be between my husband and me if the final answer was our first or our tenth choice.
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THE CELEBRITY FACTOR
I’ll take my chances after my daughter’s birth that you won’t say to me, “Did you know that’s also the name of [Insert the name of a Hollywood starlet]’s daughter?” Because while I might read Perez Hilton daily, it doesn’t mean I’m pathetic enough to name my child based on a stranger’s opening weekend box office tally. I actually think you’ll see how perfect my daughter is for her name and then realize that anyone who had the same name before her was just waiting for her to be born so they could imitate her after the fact.
my oldest was born a month before hurricane Katrina and I had already had her named picked since before I knew I was having a daughter. she was born in July of 2005 and the hurricane hadn’t even been named when I had her but then they Named the hurricane Katrina after I had already gone home from the hosiptal. her name is Katrina Rose she will be 6 next month!
mu husband’s cousins actually DID try to steal our son’s name after they heard it. they took it as a middle name instead of a first only because our son was born first. the cousin’s wife has admitted (not to us) that if her son would have been born first they would have taken our name.
that’s why any future children’s names will be kept secret until after their birth. possible gender as well!
Our son is due in August and we decided on the name Jett. I love that name for a boy, very rockstar-ish and it goes perfectly with the middle and last name choice that we decided on as well. Most people are supportive and love it, however there are a handful of people that have to bring up the fact that it was John Travolta’s sons name who died….like because his son died, this is a bad omen. So crazy! There are tons of people with tons of names that have died, wtf. Why bring it up? People are so dumb.
the tone of this article is WAY snotty! especially the first one; if you tell me your kid’s name is (or is going to be) Tino, I’m OF COURSE going to tell you I have a dog by that name, too. And mentioning that I have a great aunt Eleanore doesn’t mean that I think your name is passe. That’s ridiculous.
i love that baby
Very true! Makes a chgnae to see someone spell it out like that.
Stndas back from the keyboard in amazement! Thanks!
You?ve got it in one. Couldn?t have put it btteer.
I agree that the tone of this article is super snotty. Maybe get off your high horse and think about what the life of the kid is going to be like if you name her something strange or overly popular. Just because you don’t care about whether or not it might be a celebrity baby name, old fashioned name, or cutesy name, doesn’t mean that she won’t be tormented for years on end by other kids.
As impolite as it is to tell someone you have a family pet that shares the same name as your child, it is equally inconsiderate to your child to brand it with a tacky or old fashioned name that they will never be able to rid themselves of. My parents named me Frances, and as much as I am positive that by the time I have grandchildren it will suit me well enough, in the meantime what am I supposed to do? I currently go by Frankie, but not everyone understands why I want to be labeled with a traditionally “male” name. Truth is, I don’t! How I wish my mother would have just named me Amber or Natalie like all the other little girls in my school when I was growing up. Naming a human being is a HUGE responsibility.
Ick. What an unpleasant tone. Definitely glad I am not being named by her.
I don’t think the tone of this article was snotty at all as per other comments. It seems that most people have gotten away from calling their pets traditional pet names (fido, patches, Mr. paws) to human names (Chloe, Molly, Kyra to name a few that I actually know). I still wouldn’t tell a parent-to-be that my dog/cat/gerbil has the same name as their unborn child. People like to weigh in with their unsolicited opinions far too often and sometimes need reminding that when they ask “oh..what’s the baby’s name?”, the appropriate response to the answer is “how lovely/nice/original!” and keep their private thoughts to themselves.
My sister, who is 27, is named Katrina and seriously people were mean to her about her name in 2005. She was a waitress and she introduced herself and one of the people was said, with distain, “oh same as that hurricane”… like my sister having the name was what caused the hurricane… some people are so weird!!
I like this article and am considering keeping my baby’s name a secret. When I first found out I was pregnant, we kicked around some names with my in-laws and got so many criticisms. And we weren’t not talking about really unique or unheard of names – seems MIL doesn’t like any names other than her own.
And I was just wodenirng about that too!
That?s not just logic. That?s really sensbile.
Cheers pal. I do appreacite the writing.
Check that off the list of things I was cofnsued about.
Insecure much? If you are confident, then all of this is silly and pointless. My son will actually share his name with my sister-in-law’s dog (I fell in love with the name ages ago) and so what. It is a fairly common name; but it is also timeless and classic, and is he is one of ten other James in his class then he will just have to develop a personality. Not sharing a name is just a way for an insecure person to attempt to gain power and attention. I currently have a pregnant friend doing this and it is pathetic.
Wow, this is the first Babble article I read that made me wish I hadn’t…the tone is so negative and arrogant.
My husband and I have had are baby names picked out since we were in highschool together. Our FAVORITE girl name was Leah Rae. My long time best friend knew the baby names we had picked out. When she got pregnant with a girl who was born before mine, she named her daughter Aliyah Rae. Yea, it was a pretty hard hit to take. My husband was crushed because the name meant alot to him. Now we are back to the drawing boards and keeping our baby names to ourselves from now on!
I think I’m going to keep my next baby’s name a secret because me and my fiance decided that we were going to change our son’s name because it just didn’t feel right so we decided to change it a week before my son was born and I feel good that we did but because we decided to change it when we did, we created a lot of confusion and people kept asking me why we changed it and my mom kept talking about it like it was ridiculous that we changed it and it upset me because he’s our son and it’s our choice so it bothered me when she kept putting me down about it
I had a name picked out and really didnt thing it was that big of a deal to tell people my daughters name. A friend of mine was also prego with a girl she was a few months behind me. I figured she had a name picked out already and we were talking about names. So she asked me the name I had picked out so I told her again thinking it was no big deal. Shes like O I like that name. A few months after having my daughter I ran into her at a store and seen her with her daughter. I then found out she named her daughter the same thing. I was so pissed. I couldnt even think of why you would do that to someone. I really dont talk to her much anymore.
I agree in keeping the baby name a secret. way more exciting and surprising that way!
Both my babies have unique names. OzieBarrett Arvid Winter, and Wrigley Grace Noelle Winter. Do I regret it? Not really. In the end, no one shares their name.
someone is taking this far too serious here…calm down and have your baby and enjoy no matter what name you choose and who knew ahead of time….I don’t like the negative tone of this because it is connected to the most wonderful gift that God ever gives you…a beautiful child!
i named my son Ulrich, my mothers maiden name and a common first name in germany. i told alot of people my sons name before he was born. i got alot of mixed feedback, but i loved the name so it didnt matter to me. somepeopl tryied to make fun of his name compareing it to Heath Leadger and his character in ‘a knights tale’ but i turned around and made into something fun now i call him Sir Ulrich and we “Joust” with his little tykes cozy coupe and a pool noodle. his cousin and him LOVE it!!!
We have learned to not share. Everyone feels the need to give their opinion, especially my mom. We are having our 3rd daughter in Dec. Our daughters all have long names that we shorten to an everyday name. Evangeline Sophia (Eva), Emmerson Paige (Emme) & Electa Seraphine (Ellie). We realize that Electa is kinda out there so we have chosen to keep it secret. I am sure once we reveal that we will get alot of “Oh, thats different”. But we love it and in the end that is what matters. Others will either grow to love it or they won’t and atleast all of our girls have options for secondary names.
Love it- exact verbage my mil said to me about the name I chose for my 2nd child. Untangle me from your issues!! love it
People who don’t share their baby’s name ahead of birth are pretentious and attention hogs. Please, stop being so smug about YOUR baby’s name as if YOU and your baby are SO special the world will simply have to wait. Grrr! This is one of my biggest pet peeves of parenting.
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I don’t know that I could keep my babies name a secret for that long. Yeah people always have an opinion, but it you really like a name then you shouldn’t let that have any bearing. I remember months after I had picked out our sons name and weeks before I gave birth I had a friend tell me that it was on the top 10 boys names for that year, but I love my sons name, and I’m so glad that I didn’t let anyone change my mind.
Tone is a little snarky but I think it’s meant to be funny. I bet if we heard her say these things in person (like in the form of stand-up comedy, or even just in her living room being silly) we’d be laughing our bums off!
“me”- no they arent attention hogs, its none of your business!!! apparently, you didnt read the article.
We kept our first baby’s name secret from everyone. It was an unusual name that I loved the name and I had no interest in other people’s opinions on the matter. Besides that, I wanted to wait just in case she came out and didn’t seem like the name fit her (luckily, it did). With our second, we decided to let people know as we really felt the name would fit and we thought it helped our 2 year old really bond with her brother before he was even born.
My husband and I have a list of names that we really like that we will hopefully use if the names feels right for the baby but we will be keeping them secret. It will be a surprise and then no one can try and make fun of the name as well. I don’t even share the list of names I have. I think its a good idea to keep it secret.
This article made me roll my eyes. Stop being so smug. If people are going to “steal” YOUR baby’s name, they’re going to do it even after you’ve pushed little Tymmi(just taking a stab at the name/spelling here) out of your hoo-ha. Likewise, criticism from relatives doesn’t stop when the kid is born. The friend with the spinster aunt won’t suddenly refrain from telling you that story. You either like a name or you don’t. Why would you let other people’s associations with the name change that?
The bottom line is telling someone your baby’s name before birth, for some reason, makes some people feel totally comfortable responding with, “That’s a stupid name.” While those same people upon meeting the newborn with that name would simply smile and and say how beautiful the baby and the name are. I watched this happen to many people and so chose to keep my children’s names quiet until after they were born.