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10 Signs Youve Given Birth to the Actual Devil, Not an Actual Baby

Little devil

Evilly cute

You know it’s time to call in an exorcist when you give birth to a devil, not a baby.

Oh, sure, all babies are cute and all. But some are more like the devil than the angel you imagined when you were pregnant.

Here are 10 signs you know your angel got switched at birth with the devil:

 

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  • 3 a.m. smile 1 of 10
    3 a.m. smile
    He cries and wails and carries on in his crib in the middle of the night, but when you finally go in to make sure he's not dying of a flesh-eating bacteria, he giggles like you just tickled his feet.
    Pure evil
  • Right smile, wrong person 2 of 10
    Right smile, wrong person
    Every time you hand the baby to Grandpa, she bursts into tears. You run into that one person you just can't stand and what does the baby do? Beam like she's the sun.
    Evil seeks its own level.
  • Vomit 3 of 10
    Vomit
    Just as you're walking out the door for your first adults-only night in months and months, the baby vomits all over you.
    The devil has other plans for you this evening.
  • Barney 4 of 10
    Barney
    It's not as if you let your baby watch TV. But even though he's never even seen the show, whenever he spies a large purple dinosaur, he acts like it's his birthday, Christmas and the Fourth of July all at once.
    BJ and Baby Bop are Satan's spawn.
    Photo credit: Amazon.com
  • Two teeth 5 of 10
    Two teeth
    They're just two harmless-looking little teeth. And yet when she chomps down on your nipple while you're nursing her, it's as if the force of an entire nation has just taken a chunk out of your soul.
    The devil's bite is more permanent than a tattoo.
  • Happy camper, unhappy traveler 6 of 10
    Happy camper, unhappy traveler
    You think you've given life to the best baby there ever was. Until you get on an airplane, at which time he proceeds to let everyone know he's there, and he's not happy about it.
    The devil quiets down for no one.
  • Cameras 7 of 10
    Cameras
    His smile lights up every room he's in, all the livelong day. Until you stick a camera in his face, that is.
    The devil can never be captured on film looking happy.
  • Spit-up 8 of 10
    Spit-up
    You thought you had a decent number of options in your wardrobe until you realized you'd be changing clothes every hour on the hour. Every. Single. Day.
    Only the devil in human form could gush exactly like a geyser.
  • Pee 9 of 10
    Pee
    The one time you don't hold the old diaper in place while you're preparing the new diaper during a change, you get peed on in your eye.
    Dogs aren't the only ones who like to mark their territory.
  • Poop 10 of 10
    Poop
    She goes days without pooping, then has a blowout the moment you're nowhere near a spare diaper, wipes and clean clothes.
    Clearly the devil is trying to send you a message, which is to never, ever leave home.

Photo credits: iStock

More from Meredith on Baby’s First Year:

Read (even) more from Meredith at Babble’s Strollerderby, follow her on Twitter, and read her weekly syndicated newspaper column at MeredithCarroll.com 

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