I have so many great friends that are childless. Some aren’t married – but a majority of my childless friends are. I know that some people like to wait a few years after marriage or into a relationship to have kids. Other may have troubles conceiving and I know that some are childless by choice.
After having a conversation with a friend about her wanting a baby but had so many concerns, I began to wonder what scares the childless about having kids.
I set out to find some answers and turned to my good friend social media (Facebook and Twitter) and my kidless sister (and her array of kidless friends). I asked a question:
“What freaks you out about babies or having babies?”
The responses poured in both publicly and privately. This obviously struck a cord, both with humor and sincerity.
Here are the 15 Things that Freak My Kidless Friends Out About Babies:
Love & Relationships 1 of 15A number of friends responded saying they feared what would happen to their relationship if they had kids. "To be totally honest, we already don't have enough romance and sex, so kids aren't gonna help that."
Money 2 of 15Child care, diapers and formula add up. The fear of not having enough money to raise a child was a popular answer.
"We already don't have a ton of money (enough now, yes, but subtract a salary and add diapers and it's a whole different ballgame)."
Sleep 3 of 15As a new mom, I can testify to the lack of sleep that one will get.
"NEVER getting any sleep!"
Partying No More 4 of 15If you are concerned about not being able to party, I think it's pretty clear that maybe you aren't ready for kids.
Image source: Dallas Socials
Excessive Crying 5 of 15Babies cry. Kids cry. And well, actually adults cry to. One friend responded that she fears "Not knowing how to handle the baby when he or she cries."
Placenta! 6 of 15Yes, this is a placenta. One friend is scared to death that she will see this in real life and she's not ready to deal with that.
"What comes out after having a baby, gross."
Someone Growing Inside of Me 7 of 15The fear and freak out of having a child grow inside of your belly was another response.
"The idea of skin and bone and hair growing inside my belly."
My Child’s Future 8 of 15Many wrote fearing what type of future they could give their child.
From one friend "I don't want them to end up in therapy because of me when they are an adult."
Delivering the Baby 9 of 15A watermelon coming through a nostril. People the nostril expands and instead of a watermelon - it's a baby. But I get it. The thought of what your body is doing is miraculous and disturbing - all at the same time.
Not Knowing How to Parent 10 of 15Not knowing how to parent - raise and discipline a child.
Inheriting My Traits 11 of 15One friend said that he feared "that the kid will inherit my tragic hair.". The thought of someone inheriting something that you hate is disturbing.
Responsibility 12 of 15All of a sudden you are responsible for someone else's life.
Sick Child 13 of 15"What if I have a baby that is ill?"
Babies Grow Up 14 of 15Yes, like puppies - babies grow up and become not as cute. "it's not a baby part for me...it's that they don't stay babies and turn into horrible creatures we refer to as teenagers..."
Being Pregnant 15 of 15"Well for me the thing that freaks me out is the 9 months of being pregnant. i hate being tired and the nausea freaks me out. i seriously don't know how pregnant people work while feeling like crap. if pregnancy only lasted a month then i would not be so scared to have a baby!"
Another friend wrote: "most definitely, w/o a doubt, the fact tht its growing in u 4 9mos & the process of it gettin out - ew. gross. im adopting ha"
I respect anyone’s decision to have kids or not to have kids. To each of my friends’ concerns I could counter the positives on most of these (well except seeing the placenta – my husband took a photo so I had to see it). That’s not my place.
Having children is a personal choice.
For me, each of our four kids has been brought into my life for a reason. I’m a new person because of them. No longer am I selfish. I am slowly losing my materialistic ways. Daily my mind and body are challenged. I am forever changed, in a good way – and thank God daily for these gifts. But that’s me.
What Did You FREAK OUT About Before You Had Kids?