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20 Strange Parenting Questions from Yahoo! Answers

Oh, the irony.

It starts off innocently enough: you Google a question you’re not sure about, and depending on the question, generally one of the first results to show up is from Yahoo! Answers. Most of us know to just skip right on past them — nothing but eye rolling and giggles come from them. But for some reason I clicked the first result. Yahoo! Answers is where terribly average or mediocre people can go to feel like very important experts on a topic. It’s a whole little sub-genre of society on there. Many questions are fake (“How do I breastfeed my husband?“) but then again, you can’t be sure because the 15 answers range from “YOU DON’T” to actual step-by-step instructions on how to breastfeed your husband.

Suddenly you realize an hour of your life has passed by you and you spent it with your brows furrowed and head tilted at the questions some people ask and sometimes even more surprised by the answers. It wasn’t to hard to gather up a few of the finest parenting inquiries available on Yahoo! Answers. I left feeling quite confident in my parenting ability and seriously wondering where these question-askers are in life. Are they my neighbor? Is it the checkout girl at the grocery store? IS IT MY COUSIN?

Keep reading for a peek into the somewhat strange and curious world of Yahoo Answers…

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  • Um … 28? 1 of 20
    Um ... 28?
    It's cool. Math can be hard for new moms. All this month to week to trimester talk, it can make you forget what you learned in grade 3.
  • Technicolor Tummy 2 of 20
    Technicolor Tummy
    I don't think anyone wants to answer her questions, simply because she led with "I had twins 5 months ago and my stomach is flat."
  • Stressed Baby 3 of 20
    Stressed Baby
    Aww, honey. I'm pretty sure it's you that's stressed. Newborns will do that to you.
  • No Alanis for You, Baby! 4 of 20
    No Alanis for You, Baby!
    I think it's more dangerous to have a parent listen to Baby Einstein's version of Bolero.
  • Feet 5 of 20
    Feet
    I think the only time playing with a newborn's feet is bad is when it's not your newborn.
  • Nasal Snacks 6 of 20
    Nasal Snacks
    If my 11-month-old had the dexterity to get her chubby finger into her tiny button nose, dig something out and eat it? I'd be impressed. Babies are easily fascinated, face holes are fascinating. End of story.
  • Pigeons, the Next Owl? 7 of 20
    Pigeons, the Next Owl?
    So it turns out Pigeon is a baby company in Singapore. I, however, am putting in a request to make pigeons the next baby trend. Nothing says nursery decor like sky rats.
  • Must Be a New Mom 8 of 20
    Must Be a New Mom
    "I think I broke my microwave by doing something rather dumb. I'll put it in the newborn thread since sleep-deprived moms are most likely to do the same thing."
  • Feeling Sensitive? 9 of 20
    Feeling Sensitive?
    I know what an insensitive parent would do: go to Yahoo! Answers to ask what a sensitive parent would do.
  • I Wish 10 of 20
    I Wish
    As an avid fan of BKE jeans and knowing what they have done for my postpartum hips, I would be curious to see what they could do with Vivi's cloth diaper rear. However, I wouldn't be shelling out $40 to find out.
  • Oh Dear 11 of 20
    Oh Dear
    The best answer to this one was, "Why don't you put a bag over your own head and let us know?"
  • Preg-many Sleeping 12 of 20
    Preg-many Sleeping
    I'm assuming that by "pregmany" they mean pregnant with multiples. As I have just been pregonly I have no advice for those who are pregmany. Maybe ask my friend Anna, she was pregmany two years ago? One submitted answer was "Close your eyes, idiot." Worth a try, I guess.
  • Babies in Drawers 13 of 20
    Babies in Drawers
    My husband and I have a saying, "If you have to ask, you probably already know the answer." However the top answer to this question was "As long as you don't close the drawer, I don't see a problem with it."
  • Incognito Lunch? 14 of 20
    Incognito Lunch?
    Tonight on Dateline: the true cause of eating disorders and obesity in America, parents eating in front of their babies.
  • Sad to Meat You? 15 of 20
    Sad to Meat You?
    The best answer to this one was "Well there's not much you can do about it now." I'm just curious how that whole thing went down, the food was halfway cooked then put away? I guess it's better than "I purposely fed my baby raw meat" that just sounds like a TLC show.
  • Drown Your Uterus? 16 of 20
    Drown Your Uterus?
    Actually it will just give your baby more water to swim around in. True story.
  • Kittens and Babies 17 of 20
    Kittens and Babies
    Obviously the best place to ask for kitty naming suggestions is the baby and parenting forum. OBVIOUSLY.
  • Neverending Mucus Plug 18 of 20
    Neverending Mucus Plug
    Sounds like the beginnings of a new OB version of "Do your ears hang low."
  • Cupcake vs. Muffin 19 of 20
    Cupcake vs. Muffin
    Yes. Yes it is.
  • Head West, Young Baby! 20 of 20
    Head West, Young Baby!
    If you're planning on just leaving them up there you should at least wait until they're old enough to fight bears. If you're planning on staying with them, I say anything goes.

Image Credit: Know Your Meme

Also Babbled:

I stripped all day for the good of the baby.

Semi Aquatic Baby of Action.

Dear Hubby, hubba hubba.

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