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20 WTF Etsy Items for Babies (and a Few for Moms, Too)

Ninja

Looking for a way to scare the sh*t out of your kid? Look no further than this doll, available on Etsy!

First of all, let’s give Etsy a round of applause. What a lovely site to patronize, and kudos to all of the tremendously talented artisans who spend their time handcrafting potential treasures for others to enjoy.

That being said, not every creation can be a winner, which any parent of, say, a toddler who enjoys Play-Doh can surely attest (have you ever tried to get that stuff out of the fibers of your carpet?).

Take a look at some questionable (or, more plainly, WTF) items from Etsy for babies (and a few for moms, too):

 

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  • “Seth the Blueberry Emo Fruit” 1 of 20
    "Seth the Blueberry Emo Fruit"
    Seth is going through a rough patch and spends his days pondering his existence, reads the description. For the Debbie Downer in your life. Or for the kid who needs to come down a few notches. I guess.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Completely Hand Made Alien Poo” 2 of 20
    "Completely Hand Made Alien Poo"
    As parents, we're supposed to help prevent nightmares, not create them. At least that was my understanding.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Lucilla Your Pretty Rattle” 3 of 20
    "Lucilla Your Pretty Rattle"
    What was that about nightmares again? And pretty isn't the first word that jumps to mind when describing this . . . thing. At least for me it isn't.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Pillow Monster Joe” 4 of 20
    "Pillow Monster Joe"
    Yeah, what kid wouldn't want to wake up next to a monster?
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Ninja Matryoshka Plush Nesting Doll – The Big Daddy” 5 of 20
    "Ninja Matryoshka Plush Nesting Doll - The Big Daddy"
    Seriously? A ninja? Was the CIA-trained assassin doll-idea already taken?
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Pretty pink plush soft baby rattle with hand stitching and pom pom” 6 of 20
    "Pretty pink plush soft baby rattle with hand stitching and pom pom"
    If your baby wasn't scared of clowns before, give ‘em this. (Yes, I know that technically they're selling the rattle, but what stood out to you when you first saw the picture?)
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Daisy, Lil Bedheads, child safe, fully jointed soft doll, OOAK” [sic] 7 of 20
    "Daisy, Lil Bedheads, child safe, fully jointed soft doll, OOAK" [sic]
    Beats the heck out of me.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Wood Teether Illinois State” 8 of 20
    "Wood Teether Illinois State"
    For the Illinoisan babies fiercely loyal to teething and, um, Illinois.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Nintendo Game Boy Baby Toy” 9 of 20
    "Nintendo Game Boy Baby Toy"
    Hook ‘em while they're young (and don't worry — you have plenty of time before they realize Game Boys peaked in roughly 1995 and were discontinued in 2003).
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Baby Girl Wooden Blocks” 10 of 20
    "Baby Girl Wooden Blocks"
    I know they're selling the blocks, not the necklaces, but I can't stop looking at the necklaces. Because they don't look dangerous. At all. Particularly if you're up to date on the Heimlich.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Natural Baby Teether” 11 of 20
    "Natural Baby Teether"
    Wow. Looks . . . fun? (And tasty!)
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • Natural Wooden Infant Toy Baby Rattle 12 of 20
    Natural Wooden Infant Toy Baby Rattle
    Gosh, this one looks like a barrel of laughs, too. How to choose . . . how to choose . . .
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Crochet Play Food: Chicken Leg” 13 of 20
    "Crochet Play Food: Chicken Leg"
    Finger lickin' good? You be the judge.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Crochet Play Food: Burger and Fries” 14 of 20
    "Crochet Play Food: Burger and Fries"
    It's a nice idea, I guess (you know, if saturated fat is your thing).
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Spaghetti Dinner” 15 of 20
    "Spaghetti Dinner"
    If you want your baby to be carb-averse, here's your chance.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • ‘Baby Rattel’ [sic] 16 of 20
    'Baby Rattel' [sic]
    Is the doll's arm part of the rattle in this scenario? I really, really hope not.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Breastfeeding Necklace” 17 of 20
    "Breastfeeding Necklace"
    So we're supposed to encourage our babies to grab hold of what's around our neck and pull? Oh.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Mom To Be Princess Girl” [sic] 18 of 20
    "Mom To Be Princess Girl" [sic]
    For the woman expecting . . . a circus poodle. Or a cupcake.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Mom Heart Tattoo one size fits most” 19 of 20
    "Mom Heart Tattoo one size fits most"
    I'm not big on tattoos, but I'd rather get my own name tattooed on my arm than wear this headband. Or maybe it's just the mannequin that's freaking me out. On second thought, it's both.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.
  • “Baby Hearts Black Long Sleeve Maternity Shirt” 20 of 20
    "Baby Hearts Black Long Sleeve Maternity Shirt"
    For when you want to send a subliminal message to your unborn child that you have concerns about dropping him or her.
    Keep in mind that feelings aren't facts. If you like it, you can buy it here.

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