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5 Infomercials I DO NOT Want To See At 3:00 AM

Total Gym Infomercial When I’m up all night trying to soothe my fussy newborn, the distraction of a television glowing in the room sometimes functions as the last stronghold of sanity.

Inevitably, the program that I am half-watching ends, and I find myself staring, mouth agape and drooling like a zombie, at one infomercial or another. I sometimes barely have the will to live by 3:00 a.m., much less turn the channel, so I’ve become all too familiar with the current lineup of overnight advertisements.

Which infomercials make me want to karate kick someone in the face? Click to find out!


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  • Wen Hair Care by Chaz Dean 1 of 5
    Wen Hair Care by Chaz Dean
    Oh, Chaz Dean. How can you look so pretty, yet so terrifying? I can't get past this guy's creepy blue eyes, gorgeous golden locks, and alienesque features to actually figure out what he's selling.
  • Meaningful Beauty by Cindy Crawford 2 of 5
    Meaningful Beauty by Cindy Crawford
    Oh, what do you know... Cindy Crawford looks as good at age 43, as she did at age 28. Do you know what that's called? GOOD GENES, nothing more.
  • The Contour Ab Belt 3 of 5
    The Contour Ab Belt
    "It does the work for you!" Yeah, right. If I thought I could sit around and shock myself into fitness, I'd strap about 20 of these puppies all over my post-baby body.
  • Total Gym 4 of 5
    Total Gym
    There's just something annoying about seeing Chuck Norris skipping around at 3:00 a.m. My grandma, and old ladies worldwide love this guy. Too bad there aren't any old ladies up at 3:00 a.m. to appreciate it.

    Image Credit: Runyourashoff
  • The Baby Bullet 5 of 5
    The Baby Bullet
    Why does this infomercial bug me? Because I WANT THIS PRODUCT. I need it. I mean, look at all the stuff you get? It's like homemade baby food heaven. Stop tempting me, Baby Bullet.

Which infomercials annoy you the most?

Read more of Crissy’s writing at Dear Crissy.
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