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5 Hysterical Things No One Told Me I Would Do as a Mother

Oh the joys!

Yesterday I watched a video of Babble Founders Rufus Griscom and Alisa Volkman talking about some parenting taboos and some of the reasons they actually created Babble. It was touching, inspiring and of course dead on.

There are so many things no one tells you. Out of either dear that you will never reproduce, or out of their own sheer embarrassment. I mean, lets face it – most parents don’t want to share about laying in their kids playpen in the middle of the night in an attempt to get them to sleep.

No joke – I did it last night!

But while it may not be funny at that moment in time, looking back at it hours later when I have had a bit more sleep and I have refreshed for the day I have to laugh at some of the stuff I do as a mother that I think is downright hysterical.

I know motherhood isn’t going to be rainbows and baseball practice from the get go. There are going to be bad days and things that really are going to get to you at the moment they are happening. But motherhood also is turning them around, finding the cure to the problem or obstacle and laughing about it down the road. What is life without laughter?

Parenting certainly wouldn’t be fun or rewarding if you took it too seriously all the damn time!

This is where I put my guard down and tell you a couple stories… hysterical ones. That no one told me I would be doing as a mother when I decided to have my children. All in good fun right?

If you are in the same boat, feel free to comment with your own story. Lets all show the new moms what they really are in for!


  • I will do ANYTHING to get her to sleep! 1 of 5
    I will do ANYTHING to get her to sleep!
    Remember that time I crawled into my daughters playpen and nursed her as her personal pacifier for hours in an attempt to get her back to sleep in the middle of the night? Yeah what a blast that was!
    But could you imagine the scene?
    Its 3am, I am curled up in a play pen trying not to step on a damn Sophie the Giraffe to get out... I totally gave up. Thankfully my husband came to the rescue with some cuddles. Addie loves Daddy cuddles.
  • Oh just squirt her in the face! 2 of 5
    Oh just squirt her in the face!
    Between a rash that broke out on Addison's face, cradle cap and whatever else we have needed to use breast milk as a remedy for... All I can picture in my head is the mental image of spraying a baby in the face with my boob.
    That is enough to make me laugh hysterically... had you told me even just 5 years ago I would be doing it I would have told you how bat-shit crazy you were!
  • Remember that time I played on my kids Tricycle? 3 of 5
    Remember that time I played on my kids Tricycle?
    While it may not be a first year moment, it is hysterical and mothering related nonetheless. I had jumped on my toddlers tricycle and started driving it all around my mothers back patio.
    The kids all laughed hysterically as they tried to catch me. Addison sat and watched wondering what exactly was going on.
    Parenting has given me an excuse to channel my inner child all over again. I miss being little and being a mom is the best way to do it all over again, with them!
    Photo Credit: Flickr
  • Oh My God! POOP! Poop on my HANDS! 4 of 5
    Oh My God!  POOP! Poop on my HANDS!
    Lets get real. If we think we are going to get through 2+ years of diapering kids without getting poop on our hands... we have extremely high expectations for being a parent.
    I often laugh when new fathers gag or squirm away when they are faced with a diaper that has poop in it. I can't even imagine the laughs I would get from seeing them with actual crap on their hands. I know the first time my husband got a finger of poop it was epic.
    Before kids I would have thought this was all just... gross! Now? I laugh at it because I am seasoned in... poop? HA!
  • Baby food is actually good! 5 of 5
    Baby food is actually good!
    Some baby foods out there are actually tasty. But the fact that I actually was sneaky enough to try the food is the funny part. Hiding behind the baby with a hand full of puffs or one of those damn wagon wheels.
    Have you ever tried them? Some are actually pretty decent! But none the less good laugh!

Read more from Danielle on DanielleElwood.com
Follow Danielle on Facebook and Twitter!

Read more on Baby’s First Year from Danielle:

Minnie Mouse 1st Birthday Party Goodness
Our Last Month on Baby’s First Year
Mommy Snapped!


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