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5 Things I Miss About My Pre-Baby Life

By Naomi Odes |

guitar with piano

My sad dusty guitar (next to my sad dusty piano)

I love my babies. Having them is a truly wonderful addition to my family, and I would never want to go back to life before Fuzz and Shnook entered the scene. However, there are some things I can’t help but miss about life in the ‘old’ days. Here is a short list of examples:

1. Leisure Time: Time to read a magazine. Time to give myself a pedicure, or even just clip my toenails after a shower. Time to put on make-up, or take a bath, etc. Really, time to do anything without rushing like a maniac. What does it say about life when cleaning the kitchen is actually a break from parenting, and I even have to rush when I’m doing that.

2. Spontaneity: Unless you call pulling into the El Pollo Loco drive-thru spontaneous, of course. Gone are the days when we could jump on a Southwest Flight to Vegas on a Friday afternoon. Granted, we only did that once, but still…

3. My Boobs: I’m actually surprised by this one. I’ve always had a contentious relationship with my boobs- i.e. they were always a bit on the big side, making many outfits (camisoles, backless and strapless dresses for example) off-limits or extremely challenging. Turns out, my pre-baby boobs were my were my ‘small’ boobs. Now I need bras that are bigger than those camisoles of yore.

4. Hobbies: My guitar is dusty. I haven’t been to a yoga class in months. That catalog from the community college with the Spanish classes circled? It’s 2 years old.

5. Sleep: Obvious, yes, but when I really sit down and think about the last time I had a full night of sleep, well, it’s just depressing. Even more depressing, is not knowing when a full night of sleep is coming!

What do you miss about your pre-baby life?

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About Naomi Odes

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Naomi Odes

Naomi Odes Aytur is a blogger who's contributed on the parenting channel of Babble. She chronicles her experiences of being a new mom on her personal website, I Am Still Awake. Read bio and latest posts → Read Naomi's latest posts →

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29 thoughts on “5 Things I Miss About My Pre-Baby Life

  1. ceridwen says:

    my list is always changing. now that i have some of things back you have the list here, i’ve moved to a new gloomy longing: i miss being younger. (i wake up secen years later and i’m most definitely not that girl in a wedding dress some months before I first got pregnant); and i miss being able to just be in a shitter of a mood all by my loser self. Now if I’m going through some minor existential crisis not only can I basically not do it (because someone needs to know how to spell a word! and another needs a “WIPE!”) but when i do do it, i’m having an *impact* on my children. so i make “me time” to feel like hell. of course there’s another side to all of this, but I can’t resist the opportunity to complain a little. so thank you for giving it to me.

    1. Naomi says:

      @Ceridwen – I’m all about complaining. I might’ve elevated it to an art form. Complain away!!

  2. Miranda says:

    Sex with my husband.

    1. Naomi says:

      @Miranda-Yes. That too.

  3. Julie says:

    Sex, sleep, spontaneity, my body, and clubbing. I used to go dancing with my husband all the time. Methinks the lack of the last one is what makes getting my body back so hard LOL

    1. Naomi says:

      @Julie- I’d love to go out dancing, too.

  4. BeccaV says:

    Most certainly the freedom I used to have to do whatever I wanted, when I wanted to. Run errands after work, no problem. Go out to dinner and not have to worry about entertaining a 2.5 year old, heaven! Getting up when I wanted to, not when the baby gets up. Being able to go to happy hour after work. Those are the things I really miss.

    1. Naomi says:

      @BeccaV- Yes the getting up when you want to get up is a HUGE one. I feel like it’s gonna be a long haul before I get that one back. I also miss happy hour.

  5. Danielle says:

    Heck, I miss my life with just one kid! I realize now how much more free time I had with just one, though of course it was less than before I had any. Now that I’m back at work, I’m probably more relaxed than when I was home on maternity leave (imagine 9 hours a day when I mostly only have to worry about myself!), but still, I’d love to come home, put my feet up, and enjoy a nice glass of wine. Instead, it’s walk in the door and do the kid rush until they collapse and then I collapse into bed. I was also just about to start getting serious at the gym again, and then I got pregnant. Now…who knows when I’ll get back to the gym.

    Luckily, I have a very involved mom, who takes the baby most weekend nights to give us a break, so at least I’m getting a few nights of sleep a week.

    1. Naomi says:

      @Danielle- PREGNANT?? With your 3rd??? WOW CONGRATS!!

  6. Danielle says:

    NO NO NO!!! Not pregnant!!! I meant that I was about to get serious at the gym and then found out I was pregnant with #2 who is now 5 months old. I am one of those people who has a hard time leaving the babies to go to the gym, so it may be a few years before I’m able to get in shape again.

  7. Pocklock says:

    I miss just looking at my husband on a random Wednesday and saying – let’s go grab dinner and movie.

    I miss being out past 8:30pm.

    I miss staying in bed on weekends.

    But I look at this as only temporary. I know there will come a day when I’ll miss that little face that caused my eyes to spring open as it stood 3-inches from my nose at 5:45am this morning and said, “Mommy. I have to go potty. Now.”

  8. Jennifer says:

    I am so with Ceridwen – I can’t have a bad day, or be in a crappy mood anymore… I used to just go to bed (before having a child) when I was having a bad day and couldn’t stand to be around myself – now I just cant. And I totally get the hard time about the impact I am having on my child when I am having a work related meltdown during the day (one more reason that working from home with a child next to me is just not a good idea) or just frustrated about something. I’ll be the first to admit that I have anger issues, but it sucks! I couldn’t imagine life without my little guy – and the second on the way – but this is probably the most frustrating thing lately. Now that my firstborn is 3, I can do more around the house without feeling like I need to get a babysitter to entertain him… can’t believe that we’ll be starting all over again in just 3 months :-/

  9. laura says:

    I miss my “ME TIME”. Magazines, a glass of wine, a long phone call, writing in my journal, watching a bad reality show, staying up late with my husband downloading music or playing board games.

  10. Naomi says:

    These are all great. My list is way longer than 5, btw.

    @Danielle-Ok, sorry!! I got it now!

  11. Melinda says:

    Agree with you about the boobs thing! Realize now that my old ones weren’t so bad after all.
    I miss my special one-on-one time with my oldest son. Our outings aren’t quite as easy and relaxed anymore.
    Also, it’s hard being “on” all the time.

  12. jamiebeths says:

    oh, naomi, how i relate. i know you list being spontaneous, but i was never all that spontaneous to begin with, at least i didn’t think i was…. now, if i had one super power it would be to get out of the house in 5 minutes… there are a lot of things that are hard about being a parent, but even when changing diapers (as you have pointed out) or trying to get a baby to sleep (as you well know) you know you are at the least having some quality time with your child. getting out of the house, on the other hand, especially when hats, coats and gloves are involved (not to mention diaper bags, bibs, food, toy, etc.) is nothing short of an epic battle. so i guess, yes, spontaneity would be nice, if it meant grabbing my keys, blinking my eyes and having my daughter magically loaded up in the carseat without any effort!

    i’m trying to be more positive these days and i’m trying to complain less — read about my struggles with my inner debbie downer here: http://nora-bear.blogspot.com/2011/01/other-dance.html !!! ;-)

  13. Whitney says:

    I miss the pre baby sex, my old body, being able to lay in bed all Saturday ( actually being able to stay in bed any day past 7) and I also miss being able to actually have a bad day! It’s nice to know you can complain to other mothers without them looking down on you! I am most certainly not super mommy that has the perfect hair, make up, clothing, and perfect looking children lol thanks for letting me know that we all have our problems being a mom :)

  14. Kevin says:

    Now that we have twins (2 boys, 4 months old) I really just miss my life. I miss being able to call my wife at work and we’d go to happy hour, or dinner, or a movie, or just stay home and have sex. I miss the ability to watch a TV show, or movie, or listen to a radio program/audiobook uninterrupted. I miss just being a husband, instead of a father/co-parent. I miss making plans without the added logistics. Mostly, I miss being a focal point in conversation. Having kids turns you into a ghost caregiver. Hell, my own mother doesn’t even ask for me when she calls the house anymore. If it wasn’t for my job I’d be uncertain I existed at all. Would I trade in my boys? Never. But these are the things that I miss.

    1. Naomi says:

      @Kevin, Whitney, Melinda and Jamiebeths, Thanks so much for your honesty!

      I thought of another one today: When I’m sick, I miss being able to ‘baby’ myself. Lie on the couch and watch TV, sip matza ball soup from the deli…all uninterrupted.

  15. falie says:

    Now, who did not miss having your money to yourself? It is expensive to care for a child or children. Nothing is cheap when it comes to childcare. Lucky if your Mama helps for free, but somehow you know you have to pay someday. With kids to feed your grocery bills are higher. You need more space, so your home is bigger with higher rent/mortgage. You just need more $$$ than you did before you had children. Do not forget to add kids college bills to the rest of the list of where your money went after the kids arrived.

  16. Tina says:

    I had my first child @ 16 and my last @ 29. I use to miss all of the things mentioned above just like everyone else. But, now that my oldest is 19, what I miss most is him climbing in bed, waking me up, and snuggling with me early in the morning. I miss my opinion being important to him. I miss all of those little boy hugs and kisses with arms tightly wrapped around my neck, back, or legs. I miss his favorite thing in the whole world being Mommy’s homebaked Choc chip cookies. I miss him wanting to spend time with me. I miss wiping his nose and solving his problems, because somehow, that made me able to protect him from all the bad things in this world. I miss watching him run off the school bus each afternoon because he could not wait to see his Mommy. I miss seeing and hearing from him everyday. Trust me when I tell you that everything you miss now is nothing compared to what you have with your children. I am not chiding anyone, just passing along some wisdom from an old Mom.

  17. Crystal says:

    I had my first at 17 and now at 28 with a 1 week old. I forgot how time consuming these little guys are. I am going though withdrawals as we speak. Just weeks ago simple things like running errands & cooking dinner have become major events. So much planning is involved especially since I am breastfeeding. I know from experience that i will regain some freedom in a few years but just typing that is depressing. Of course it’s all worth it but it does help to vent every now and again.

  18. Vera says:

    I don’t even do any of those things and I don’t even have kids.. :-) The grass is always greener….

  19. adrienne says:

    I miss not yelling all the time. With an almost 5-year-old and 2.5 year old, yelling is something that happens. I *hate* hearing myself sometimes. But you have to make a lot of noise to be heard over their constant din.

  20. Angie says:

    @Falie you are so right about the money. I miss the days when I can splurge on myself without feeling guilty. Now days I feel guilty for buying anything for myself (even if I have a coupon and its on sale).

  21. Naomi says:

    @Falie and Angie- YES! $$$ is a big one. Buying myself a pair of pants seems to be low on the priority list.

  22. Amber Mendat says:

    I love the hour i get away i feel like i can do everything in that hour i could not in the day

  23. Dian says:

    I miss the days before I really knew what guilt was.

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