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9 Moms You Don’t Want To Meet At Playgroup

By Rebekah Kuschmider |

Last year, I made a friend at my older child’s school. We’ll call her Annie. She’s awesome. Her oldest was the same age as C, she had a 6 month old baby too, and then we got pregnant at nearly the same time. Perfect! Friends for all of us! Except that her husband is in the military so she moved. Boo. There went my perfect mom-friend situation.

I do have other friends, of course, but most of them don’t have little babies for N to play with. That’s not so critical right now but in less time than I care to think about, she’ll want to play with other kids. In order to make some friends for her, I signed up for a new playgroup with other moms of young babies in my area. I don’t know any of the other moms so I’ll be walking into the situation cold. This is nervewracking for me. I’ve never shaken my adolescent fear of not fitting in. Actually, I don’t always fit in because I’m kind of inappropriate and don’t always have a good filter in conversation. And I swear too much. So, I’m always afraid I’ll alienate other parents before our kids even get a chance to make friends.

There’s also the issue of ending up in a room full of people I don’t much like. The DC area is a melting pot of different types of people – many of them rather…um…intense. You never know when you’ll wind up in a group with a very serious Congressional staffer with no sense of humor. Or an anti-war activist who carries a canvas bag covered in buttons with slogans on them. Or stay at home mom who never got over being a type-a Harvard grad and organizes birthday parties like they’re presidential campaigns. Sometimes it takes a little work to find the kinds of moms I usually like – the kind who hope that no one can see the spit up stain on their shoulder  because they were too busy packing a snack of Goldfish and a juice box for their older child to change before leaving the house.

Here are some of the moms I’m hoping NOT to meet at my new playgroup:

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9 Moms You Don't Want To Meet At Playgroup

Pinterest Mom

She smells of hot glue and and some sort of baked good that involves pumpkin. Her child is in darling clothes. When you ask where she got them, she pityingly tells you she sewed them herself and never buys clothes for her kids.
Photo Credit: photo stock

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Read more from Rebekah at Mom-in-a-Million, The DC MomsThe Broad Side
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Photo credit: photo stock

More from Rebekah:

MORE ON BABBLE:

25 things NOT to do with your baby
8 things I never thought I’d say… until I became a mom
20 everyday items my toddler finds fascinating
10 fights you should never have with your toddler
The most bizarre and inappropriate baby gear EVER

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About Rebekah Kuschmider

rebekahkuschmider

Rebekah Kuschmider

Rebekah Kuschmider is a writer and mother with an over-developed sense of irreverence, who has socialist tendencies and a blog. She lives with her husband and two kids outside of Washington, DC. You can read her work regularly at Stay At Home Pundit and The Broad Side. Her work has also been seen at Salon, Redbook, and The Huffington Post. Read bio and latest posts → Read Rebekah Kuschmider's latest posts →

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17 thoughts on “9 Moms You Don’t Want To Meet At Playgroup

  1. joslyngray says:

    I only have four kids but I KNOW I’m the Duggar Wannabe in this, including the mothers of multiples consignment sale stuff! LOL.

  2. Catarina says:

    Too funny! I have met every single type of mom on your post! Will be reading you more. I think I’m the anti-social mom. I can’t make friends all that easy. I’m too good at reading in between the lines of comments and opinions, and looks. I guess I’m just not going to pretend to like anybody. But don’t get me wrong. I have a very good sense of humor, am happy with my kids and my husband, and I have a handful of real good and true, trustworthy, friends. Always focus on quality. I hope you find a real great mom friend who has a real nice kid. :)

  3. Nikki says:

    Well, shoot, I’m definitely pinterest mom, but I’m nice and I’d show you how to sew if you wanted to learn! I also tend to be slow to warm up to new people, so I really have to force myself out of my comfort zone to meet new moms. I’ve met a couple, recently, with kiddos my little guys age, which is pretty rad!

  4. Janet says:

    You won’t be meeting my “type” of mom at playgroup. I’m the type that works a full time job and has my child in daycare so we have never actually been to a playgroup. I also don’t have any mom friends since I’m not in a position to actually meet any and I’m also on the shy side. Kind of sucks.

    1. Marina says:

      Hey girl,
      You and me both. I’m a working mom but also very much like how the author describes herself: inappropriate, filterless, swears a lot.
      We’ll make it somehow.

  5. teagansmomma says:

    i actually sound like the mom the author writes about at the end of her post… :)

  6. sarah says:

    I understand the trepidation, however I kind think this is a very judgemental blog. Ive know all these moms. And i honestly wish i were 7 out of 9 of them lol…. To each there own….

  7. Morrigan says:

    Well no wonder I can’t find a playgroup! Pinterest/flash card (minus the au pair, we use free websites & the library)/detergent making/hippie/political mommy here! I must be the most annoying mommy around lol. Though considering that “have-it-all-mom” is listed as somebody to avoid, sounds like all of us moms suck.

  8. A.gillis says:

    I am a combo of a couple of these moms… Lol well rounded though. I can fit in anywhere;) I find this hilarious. Lol good read;)

  9. Bobby says:

    I’m the Pinterest mom for sure! But I do swear and watch cartoons and giggle when it rains and we get to jump in puddles… and play video games and tabletop games. I’m the crafting geek mom!

  10. hannah says:

    this is malarkey. I’m sure I could pigeonhole every mom I know into one of these categories, and none of them would adequately contain them. You want ALL these moms in your group. Except, maybe we don’t want you, “Judgy Mom.” And, follow me on pinterest (hannahcloud) where I make all my kids birthday parties from scratch, but none of there clothes. I must be gawdawful.

  11. A. Hughes says:

    Lol! I’m right there with you! I have been known to be inappropriate, I forget to put my filter on A LOT and I could make a trucker blush with my swearing. Play groups and mommy and me classes send my anxiety thru the roof. Why is it that moms are so afraid to be judged by other moms? Nobody’s perfect….

  12. Mindy says:

    This post could be considered light hearted fun and a good way for moms to laugh a bit at themselves, except its not really funny. These are obnoxious stereotypes and I don’t know any of these women. I do know the woman who goes into a group looking for everyone’s flaws, forgetting to give them the benefit of the doubt, and looking to pigeonhole them into neat categories after one conversation. I like a diverse group with all these other ladies who are sure to be more complex than they seem at first glance, but she can stay home until she’s ready to play nice.

  13. Maria says:

    Its been an interesting transition for me as well making new “mom” friends. Snap judgments have been a natural part of the process. On my off days, I let judgments (similar to the caricatures in this article) close myself off to others but on my better days I keep an open mind. Sometimes I find myself pleasantly surprised. I’ve never appreciated people putting me into a box so I try to remind myself to do the same for others. Perhaps a more mom-empowering, box-defying article next time?

  14. tetera says:

    Ha, I loved this!
    Don’t listen to all of the mean comments; they’re just by people who recognize themselves on the list!
    I have to admit that one of the reasons I read this article was to see if I happened to be one of “the nine” but was grateful to see that I am not. I’ve definitely met most of these moms, though- I also live in the DC area and we don’t do play groups and such for this very reason.

  15. Lucia says:

    This is a very judgmental article, akin to bullying. All moms have a little bit of each of these styles, and even insinuating that any of these parenting styles is bad or ridiculing any one of them is shameful and so out of place in a blog like this. I am just aghast.

    Also, please hire a proof-reader: “She is hoping her baby to walks early…”??? What is that supposed to mean?

  16. Nan says:

    Oh, this made me laugh and the one I laughed at most was myself. I’m the political mom. I own it. I can’t help it, I get fired up. I love the humor of this article/blog. If you can’t have a little fun looking at others and looking in the mirror then life would be rather dull indeed.

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