A Proper Introduction To HenryMonica Bielanko
I realize, of course, that I’ve done more writing about myself than the little guy. Granted, there is lots to say about him, but also, he is still kind of larvae at this point.
That smile? It’s not a smile. He’s trying to push out a poop or a fart that rivals the baritone and length of his father’s.
I mean, seriously. What is that? Dudes just come out of the womb knowing how to crank out farts that could melt your face? Violet never farted like that.
Anyway, I kind of wanted to properly introduce you to the little dude. He’ll be three weeks old this Wednesday. If you all behave yourselves I may even post some horribly embarrassing video of me in all my pushing glory! No vagina though, I promise. You already got your accidental vagina shot in Violet’s birth video, you perverted suckers. I still can’t believe I didn’t spot the vagina shot until a year after I posted the thing.
But what’reyagonnado? Not a whole lot after everyone you know and a couple thousand strangers have taken a gander at your post birth vagina.
There I go again. Digressing into vagina talk in, like, three paragraphs. What is it with me?
Without further ado (or vagina talk) here are the first ten minutes of my little Henry David Bielanko’s life: