Babies Are Good but Whole Milk Is EvilAlice Gomstyn
It taunts me every time I open the fridge.
“I would taste so good in your cereal,” the red carton seems to whisper. “And I go so well with cookies.”
Oh, whole milk, you cruel, creamy temptress, you.
Heads-up, parents: If you’ve weaned your baby off of breast milk at 12 months or gotten the pediatrician’s OK to abandon formula, you’ve likely had this problem too — to keep your baby sated, you now have to keep the fattiest version of cow’s milk in the house. If you’re smart, you’ll do as you’re supposed to and reserve that particular carton for the baby and the baby only.
If you’re dumb (like me), you’ll take just a little sip — you know, like you did with breast milk or formula — to see what the baby’s in for.
But beware, should you venture down this luscious lactose path.
Once the white stuff hits your tongue, your taste buds will reawaken. They’ll send a message to your brain. “Hallelujah! Forget that thin, watery impostor. This, THIS is what milk is supposed to taste like,” they will declare.
The yummy euphoria may be so great that you might just forget that along with that rich taste comes another richness — of fat. About 8 grams of fat more per glass than your regular 0-fat serving of fat-free or skim milk.
But what’s a few extra fat grams compared to that incomparable taste, right? It’s not like you’ll be drinking the stuff every day, helping yourself to double portions of cereal in the mornings and milk and cookie snacks every night…or will you?
I haven’t fallen that deep…yet. I’m still at the occasional, steal-a-sip-when-nobody’s-looking stage. But I’ve resolved, right here, right now, that I will go no further. I’m going back to fat-free milk because that’s what responsible adults drink, right? RIGHT?
Join me, my baby-weaning friends. We’ll be strong together. We’ll be good parents and save the whole milk for the children.
…And, you know, maybe, sometimes, once in a while, drink their leftovers. Pass the cookies.
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