Week 1
SIDS and Shaken Baby Syndrome
SIDS:
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is one of the biggest fears amongst parents, causing normally sane individuals to randomly jolt out of bed and lean over the baby’s crib to check that he or she is still breathing. SIDS is the mysterious sudden death of infants under 12 months old. While there are theories and countless studies done on what exactly causes SIDS, experts have identified ways to reduce the risk:
- Until your baby can sufficiently roll, place the baby on his or her back to sleep at night and naptime. Many experts believe the SIDS risk is higher for tummy-sleepers not because of suffocation but because babies sleep better, more soundly, on their stomachs, meaning they might not wake up as easily if they experience sleep apnea. So don’t be surprised if your baby resists back sleeping for a bit – he or she should get used to it soon.
- The FDA recently recommended against using sleep positioners. If you need to elevate your baby for reflux reasons, put blankets under the mattress to raise it up a bit under your baby’s head instead.
- Make sure the crib mattress is firm and free of pillows, comforters or other fluffy, loose bedding.
- Have your baby wear sleeper blankets to bed, rather than cover him or her in a loose blanket. If you do need to use a blanket, make sure that it only goes from chest to ankles, and is tightly tucked into the mattress.
- Do not smoke anywhere near the baby – period.
- Keep the baby’s room between 61 and 67 degrees and don’t overbundle, as overheating can be dangerous. A sleeper blanket is all that’s needed.
- Consider using a pacifier during sleep time, but don’t force it if he or she won’t take one.
- Practice regular tummy time – the faster your baby gains head and neck strength, the better protected he or she is against SIDS.
Shaken Baby Syndrome:
This might seem obvious, especially in today’s day and age, but as every new parent will find, uncontrollable crying can make a parent go crazy. However, no matter how frustrated and exhausted you might be, never shake your baby.
Shaken Baby Syndrome is when your baby is forcibly shaken so hard that his or her brain can actually bleed from moving back and forth in the skull. This can cause:
- Difficulty or stopped breathing
- Seizures and vomiting
- Tremors
- Difficulty keeping eyes open/lifelessness
- Death
If you feel yourself about to lose it:
- Put your baby somewhere safe (in a crib) and walk away.
- Take a deep breath and count to 10.
- Ask someone else to come and take over.
- Do not pick up your baby again until you’ve calmed down.
If you or someone you know has violently shaken your baby, call 911 immediately. Don’t be ashamed or scared to take responsibility – your child’s life is on the line.
If you plan on breast feeding, having formula in the house is an invitation to failure. Pleas consider NOT having “back up” formula. Instead have good breast feeding books (like The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding) & the number of a good lactation consultant.
I agree entirely on not keeping formula in your house. Breastfeeding can take awhile to get a hang of, and that’s okay for the baby. That first week is such a vulnerable time, it’s easy to give in. If you need formula, your doctor will tell you at your one week appointment, or you can see a lactation consultant, and pick it up on the way home. It’s not that hard to stop by a drug store or get someone to stop for you if it’s needed.
If you’ve decided to cloth diaper, I’d still use disposables for the first month or so. For one thing, it’s not particularly cost effective over disposables to buy that tiny size in addition to the bigger sizes or one size diapers. Also, figuring out a laundry routine for cloth diapers can take some experimentation and troubleshooting, which I think is better left for a little later on.
This is a really well thought-out and written piece. Week one is so overwhelming, I’m glad it’s acknowledged and supported.
I completely agree with the cloth diaper comment – and I’m glad this article pointed that out as well. While I’m a big fan of cloth diapers LATER, trying to use them in the beginning is a set-up for failure and a HUGE waste of what should have been an investment. I’d try them in a few months.
Give yourself complete permission to do nothing that isn’t crucial to your infant’s (and your) survival in those early weeks. This probably means feeding the baby and yourself, changing the baby, and getting as much rest as possible. I am one of those people who can’t easily fall asleep, no matter how exhausted I am, so napping while my newborn took 30-minute “naps” just was not possible (and the people who cheerfully told me “just sleep when the baby sleeps!” became very irritating). Between that and breastfeeding every 90-120 minutes, exhaustion got me quickly and probably set me up for a few very rough months. So rest if you can, even if you can’t sleep, and ignore the guilt that might come along with seeing the laundry stack up.
I breastfed my infant for over a year, but those early weeks were tougher than I ever expected. As much as I agree with not “caving in” by giving the baby formula early on, recognize that for some people, this *may* be a much-needed bridge to full-blown breastfeeding. In my case my milk didn’t come in for 6 full days and my lactation consultant from La Leche League didn’t get back to me for almost 36 hours, which is a lifetime when your baby is hungry and crying constantly and no one is sleeping. At day 5 we decided to use some formula and this covered us until my milk arrived. I beat myself up over this repeatedly (as did so-called “friends” who viewed using formula as practically the equivalent of giving the baby red Kool-Aid). Formula isn’t poison; try not to add guilt to everything else you’re probably feeling in those weeks.
Excellent article Babble – bravo! I am mixed with the formula in the house debate. I only have one can and one bottle that someone gave me – low and behold a month later and I’m being rushed to the ER with a serious intra-uterine infection. My neighbors took our daughter and gave her her first bottle. They kept asking him how much she took and we were like “we have no idea!” we went right back to BFing when I got home from the hospital. but if we hadn’t had that one little can and lone bottle we would have really been up a creek and inconvienced our neighbors.
I totally agree with the comment of don’t do anything that you don’t HAVE to. I am about as earthy as the come….but the first two weeks solid..we used paper plates and cups. It’s just a “pass” I gave myself. I threw all the laundry into the machine together and went to bed at 7 when the baby went “down for the night”
DON”T FEEL GUILTY and DON”T LET ANYONE ELSE MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY for doing whatever you need (within reason obviously!!!) to get by! This is even more true with subsequent babies
I was so relieved at how easy it was to switch back and forth between breastfeeding and formula. I had been told that my baby, given a bottle, would never go back to the breast and that was absolutely not the case. It saved my health and sanity for my husband to be able to feed the baby overnight — and gave him (and my parental visitors) a chance to bond with her as well. If you must use breastmilk only, you can always pump, but I highly recommend getting used to not being the sole feeder early on. You will be grateful for the rest and your partner will be grateful to share such an important role.
I agree with most of the advice in this article, however breastfeeding mothers should NOT keep formula in the house “just in case”. Breastfeeding can be hard in the beginning and having an easy out right under your nose is counter-productive. If the baby isn’t gaining well and you need to supplement, it can be easy enough to pick some up on the way home from the pediatrician’s office, as someone already pointed out. Also, pumping a little milk from engorged breasts will not make your body produce even more milk. It’s *emptying* the breast that signals the brain to produce more milk. Pumping or hand expressing a little to soften the breasts and allow the baby to latch easier, relieve the mother’s discomfort and prevent a plugged duct is absolutely fine.