Baby Crap I Would NEVER Buy
Parents will buy anything!
In the past couple weeks I have seen a rash of absolutely ridiculous baby products come across my inbox. Whether they were through Google alerts or friends just emailing me saying, “Can you just blog about this… PLEASE?!”
I have to admit on one hand, some of the stuff is absolutely unnecessary, and on the other, I am positive new parents would agree they absolutely must have these things for their new baby. I know because when I was pregnant with my first child I had to have it all, too. Unfortunately I learned very quickly I fell victim to elaborate marketing schemes designed to target new parents.
They get ya!
So I figured as a seasoned veteran now who has been through the first-year stage almost three full times, I would put together a list of stuff I would never ever-ever buy!
I mean come on … does your bald baby really need a hair piece? Lets be serious here, people!
And I am not just saying that because my 10-month-old has insanely long hair either … even if she was bald I wouldn’t be splurging on hair pieces for her!
What are some of the baby products you absolutely would never buy for your baby?
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Pee Pee Tee Pee
The pee pee tee pee!
After making it through two boys with very little "pee incidents" I absolutely wouldn't invest in these.
Especially since my kids were never still enough for one of these to actually STAY ON during a diaper change.
But hey! If you want them go for it!
Buy Pee Pee Tee Pee's Here! -
The Babykeeper
For me I have so many bones to pick with this one on so many different levels.
One I would never dangle my infant from the crotch like that. How UNCOMFORTABLE does that look?
Diaper or not, I wouldn't want to be hanging by my girl bits!
Second - Those public bathroom doors are less than sturdy to me! I wouldn't take my baby and hang them from the door to pee.
The whole thing just reeks of an accident waiting to happen!
But alas - if the Baby keeper is something you would like you can buy it below!
Buy the Babykeeper Here -
The Baby Mop
So apparently some parents think your baby is an actual mop.
To me I always thought you are supposed to clean the floor before letting your infant explore around.
I mean, I wouldn't be putting my daughter down on a dirty floor to explore and clean for me.
Would you?
For more on The Baby Mop Click Here -
Baby Perfume!
Yup! Your baby needs to smell their best for all of their big appearances at the pediatrician and of course your play group!
Honestly I think new baby smell is the best smell ever anyway!
Really? I am a grown woman and don't even care for perfume! There is no way I would invest in a bottle for my baby. No way!
Would you buy baby perfume?
To buy Baby Perfume Click Here -
Baby Bangs
Yup! If you have a bald baby you can go out and get them Baby Bangs!
A headband which is a fake hair piece geared towards little girls.
What in the hell will they come up with next?
See more on Baby Bangs Here -
The Peekaru
I am kind of torn on this one... I think that for people who are really into baby wearing it is kind of one of those must have products.
And as someone who wears my kids all the time... even my older children I just cant justify the price tag for something I could use a blanket to do.
Check out the Peekaru here -
The
Really?
No! Just NO!
Maybe it is just me but bad teeth isn't hysterical to me at all!
I get they are a joke but come on parents... come on!
Buy the "Redneck Pacifier" on Amazon -
The Tummy Tub
The tummy tub, or as I call it... a bucket!
I am not exactly sure how this tub can enhance your bonding time with your baby or even how it ended up being such a popular baby tub!
PEOPLE! You can go to the local handyman store and get a bucket for half the price!
I will stick with our old fashioned torturous baby bath tub!
Buy the "Check out The Tummy Tub here -
The Buster Vacuum Cleaner
Wondering how this is a baby product?
Oh it is designed as a ride on toy for your baby!
Of course like the baby mop... put your infant to work cleaning at a young age!
For more on The Buster Vacuum -
Thud Guard
Look! A helmet for your baby!
UGH!
The thud guard is to help protect your baby once they get mobile... good luck with that if you try to get your kid to keep it on without a complete melt down though!
My daughter HAS to wear a helmet and it is a battle to put it on once she has had it off for her allotted time for the day.
Let kids be KIDS!
For more on The Thud Guard
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OMG I’ll have to let my husband know the baby mop already exists…he keeps threatening to put swiffer pads on our son and have him crawl around the house…
Love it. I do have the Tummy Tub, only because it was cheaper to buy in the UK than a baby bath and my little boy loved it
Ha ha I always thought the tee-pees were pretty silly, since you can put anything over the baby’s diaper area during a change (I used burp cloths/cloth diapers or even the onesie I was taking off of him.) As for the tummy tub, I saw this at a very high-end baby store in Chicago and thought the exact same thing about it being a bucket. And while the idea of dunking the kid in a bucket kind of appealed to me, it seems less involved than the baby tubs, it also seems so very wrong. “She puts her baby in a bucket!”
That baby keeper thing actually looks pretty useful to me. Until you are out with toddler and a baby in a public restroom and there is nowhere to set a baby down you don’t have any idea how complicated that gets! And it doesn’t look any less comfortable than a Baby Bjorn and my kids loved that.
I actually have a tummy tub (well dif. brand) and I love it. It has a rounded bottom in it to cradle baby so that they feel more secure than in the wide open traditional styles. They actually fit kids for a pretty long time too. I also love that it now doubles as bucket now that my kids are out of it. I use it to hold all of our tub toys.
I love the idea of the Peekaru. I don’t do a lot of winter babywearing here in Northern Ontario but would if I had something like this to make it less bulky, warmer and more comfortable for me and my babe.
I think the most frivolous baby item I’ve seen is the $60 wipes warmer.
We have a cheaper version of the tummy tub & it’s awesome. I was skeptical but it really does rock. And uhm…I can get my kid to clean while he plays? Hell yeah, ha ha. That vacuum is cute. My older son loves to play w/the real vacuum!
I own the tummy tub and love it. I also own a bucket and don’t feel like they are one and the same. The other items on your list made me laugh!
I agree about the peepee teepees! They were the first thing I bought when we found out we were having a boy. I was itching to make my first baby purchase and thought these were adorable. But you’re right, once we got past the first month or so we didn’t have any pee accidents and those things do not stay on his weewee anyway.
I too have the Tummy tub and LOVE it. I used a regular baby tub with my first son and he hated baths because he got cold. The tummy tub keeps my second son warm and he loves baths. I was skeptical, but it really works well! And it may look like just a bucket but totally is not. It is designed just for a little baby to sit in (and has a fill line that is very useful!)
i don’t have a tummy tub, but i considered getting one. so if you actually read about the product you would know that it’s not just a bucket – it’s shaped specifically so the baby does not slip down into the chamber. it also has a rubberized bottom to keep it from slipping and translucent sides so you can see the baby clearly. i can see why you might think it’s the same as a cheapo bucket, but honestly it is not.
Totally agree with you about almost the whole list except for the peekaru. If you babywear frequently in cooler weather a good babywearing coat is priceless – keeps you and baby warm without added bulk!
Honestly, everyone is so sick of those crappy baby products and whether we like it or not they still exist in some baby shop near our places. In my case, I learned how to be wiser but making sure that every baby items I have are quality ones. I invest more on baby clothes those that are purely cotton because my baby’s skin is so sensitive so I’ve to be very very careful. I often shop baby clothes at Feather Baby boutique in NY and I super love their stylish baby clothing. When it comes to toys I prefer to see the product first rather than purchasing them online.