"But I Already Have a Baby!": The Discussion of Baby #2Lauren Hartmann
In recent weeks our little baby Fern is seeming less like a baby. As we see her personality emerging along with preferences and as we see her crawling, scooting and walking along the furniture it’s hard to deny that our baby is growing up.
I for one am excited about this. As much as I adore my baby, I do not adore the “baby stage.” I’ve never really liked babies that much, and even though Fern has changed my mind, I still look forward to the days when she will be a little bit more self-sufficient. I realize that I will miss things about her being this tiny, but overall the unpredictability of babies and my lack of baby mind-reading skills has made this season of life a pretty challenging one – totally worth it, but challenging nonetheless.
With that said, in the past couple of weeks my husband has begun asking me when I want to have a sibling for Fern…another baby. Dun, dun, dun…
Read on to see how the conversation went!
Craig (my husband): “So…are you ready to give Fern a baby brother or sister yet?”
Craig: “Why not? Fern is practically a toddler now – it would be a great time to have another baby!”
Me: “Ummmm….did you not notice that I already have a baby?”
Craig: “But, Fern would love it. Think of how much fun they would have together?”
Me: “But, I’m not ready to be pregnant again. What if it’s worse than the first time? I still remember giving birth! I think I need to wait a little bit longer until I forget. And did you forget how long it took my ‘business’ to go back to normal after having our first baby? Pretty sure that just happened last week. I’m not quite sure I’m ready to gain a million pounds and have my body ravaged again just yet.”
Craig: “But, will you ever really be ready for all of that again?”
Me: “Hmmm…good point.”
After our discussion I’ve been wondering if having a second baby is kind of like having a first in that you’re never really “ready” per say. We talked about having a baby for so long before I actually went off of birth control the first time around and even then I still didn’t feel ready, but we kind of just decided that we were probably as ready as we’d ever be and that we could always be better equipped for parenting, but that we’d figure it out as we went along. Maybe having a second baby is much the same. I wonder if I’ll ever really feel ready.
When I was pregnant with Fern we talked about trying to get pregnant with a second baby when Fern turned one, because my philosophy was that I kind of just wanted to “get it over with.” I’ve always wanted two kids (My husband would like three or four, but that’s another story.), so I always just figured I’d try to have them sort of close together to get the pregnancy stuff over with (*NOTE: I’m not one of those women who loves pregnancy. I think it’s an amazing and beautiful thing, but that doesn’t mean I want to be pregnant for the rest of my life…nausea, cankles and fat face? No thanks.). But, now that Fern’s first birthday is only 3 months away (less even!) I’m not quite so sure.
Have any of you been debating this in your household? For those of you that have more than one child – what was the spacing like and how did it work out for you?